¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2024-10-01 33

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

HOMEWORK FOR TODAY:
ESSAY: Today, some young people say that their mobile phones are the most important thing they own. Do you think that the popularity of mobile phones is a good or bad thing?

I think owning a cell phone has a very bad effect.
With cell phones, we humans stop thinking and make no effort to know how we don't know. We just type on a small screen. We don't look at books or listen to experts. They can get into accidents while believing and copying only the information that may be wrong.
Although there are many benefits, I think the use of cell phones has more bad effects.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Lee! It's great to see you dedicating time to your homework again. I really appreciate your effort, and I hope you find value in your writing process. Keep up the fantastic work!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think owning a cell phone has a very bad effect.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>>> I believe that owning a cell phone can have negative effects.
With cell phones, we humans stop thinking and make no effort to know how we don't know.
>>> With cell phones, we often stop thinking critically and neglect the effort to understand what we don¡¯t know.
We just type on a small screen. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
We don't look at books or listen to experts. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>>> We don't read books or listen to experts. 
They can get into accidents while believing and copying only the information that may be wrong.
>>> They can end up in accidents by believing and copying incorrect information.
Although there are many benefits, I think the use of cellphones has more bad effects.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>>> Although there are benefits, I think cell phones have more negative effects.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139531 8/26 homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 382
139530 longevity ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 2
139529 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 376
139528 Why air arabia? ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 4
139527 homework ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 3
139526 HOMEWORK FOR 08.28.2024 WRITING TASK: What do you hope for today? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 3
139525 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 362
139524 What were mornings like in your house when you were a kid? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 339
139523 The popular kids in school ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 369
139522 Japanese ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 2
139521 Write about the importance of setting goals. How do personal... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 388
139520 Write about a time when you had to work in a team. ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 390
139519 27.Aug.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 0
139518 What are the things you provide for your loved ones? ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 375
139517 Think about a time when you struggled with procrastination on a... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 361
139516 Who do you think is the most beautiful person alive today? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 385
139515 Reflect on a time when you faced midweek challenges. How did you... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 273
139514 Q) Do you think ambience is important in restaurants? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 2
139513 Do you think children need to learn patience? How can parents or... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 373
139512 Regular customer ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-28 398

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04