¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2024-10-01 349

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

HOMEWORK FOR TODAY:
ESSAY: Today, some young people say that their mobile phones are the most important thing they own. Do you think that the popularity of mobile phones is a good or bad thing?

I think owning a cell phone has a very bad effect.
With cell phones, we humans stop thinking and make no effort to know how we don't know. We just type on a small screen. We don't look at books or listen to experts. They can get into accidents while believing and copying only the information that may be wrong.
Although there are many benefits, I think the use of cell phones has more bad effects.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Lee! It's great to see you dedicating time to your homework again. I really appreciate your effort, and I hope you find value in your writing process. Keep up the fantastic work!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think owning a cell phone has a very bad effect.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>>> I believe that owning a cell phone can have negative effects.
With cell phones, we humans stop thinking and make no effort to know how we don't know.
>>> With cell phones, we often stop thinking critically and neglect the effort to understand what we don¡¯t know.
We just type on a small screen. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
We don't look at books or listen to experts. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>>> We don't read books or listen to experts. 
They can get into accidents while believing and copying only the information that may be wrong.
>>> They can end up in accidents by believing and copying incorrect information.
Although there are many benefits, I think the use of cellphones has more bad effects.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>>> Although there are benefits, I think cell phones have more negative effects.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134442 To Be 20 Years Old ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-02-04 842
134441 What does ¡°financial responsibility¡± mean? Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-04 922
134440 Buying a car ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-04 2
134439 Appearance ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-04 1
134438 5 DAY HOMEWORK ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-02-03 600
134437 How is beauty defined in your culture? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-03 1
134436 What is the most interesting place you have visited during the... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-02-03 979
134435 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-02 0
134434 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-02 653
134433 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-02 1
134432 What are you monst excited for about the future? why? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-02 705
134431 How was joining the traditional musical instrument club... À±*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-02-02 831
134430 Homework ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-02-02 586
134429 homework 02.02 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-02-02 554
134428 When was a time that you felt lucky or blessed? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-02 666
134427 Movies that are popular in our country ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-02-02 610
134426 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-02 0
134425 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-02 0
134424 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-02 0
134423 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-02 470

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04