¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

For perfect writing

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*¿¬
2024-10-01 293

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

We all have the right to an education.
Education is not simply given to some classes, but a natural right of the people and a natural responsibility that the state must guarantee.
Modern society is mostly tied to jobs in education although there are many ways about making money.
Regardless of money, individuals' potential abilities can be developed through education, which can improve their quality of life.
In a capitalist society, social inequality is a serious problem and youth unemployment is rising. It can be one way to solve this problem.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Seo Yeon!
Thank you for expressing your thoughts through this composition :) Until your next work ^^
Chammy

We all have the right to an education.
Education is not simply given to some classes, but a natural right of the people and a natural responsibility that the state must guarantee.
>>Correct
Modern society is mostly tied to jobs in education although there are many ways about making money.
>> Modern society is mostly tied to educational jobs although there are many ways to make money.
Regardless of money, individuals' potential abilities can be developed through education, which can improve their quality of life.
In a capitalist society, social inequality is a serious problem and youth unemployment is rising. It can be one way to solve this problem.
>>Correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139330 When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-21 805
139329 How to remain calm ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-21 5
139328 demanding customer ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-08-21 11
139327 felt proud whil ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-08-21 12
139326 How can countries prevent conflicts when other nations are not... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 2
139325 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1
139324 20.Aug.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1
139323 Imagine a day in the life of a character who has the power to... Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 796
139322 8/21 writing task ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 2
139321 How does social media influence the way people communicate with... Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 700
139320 What do you like about your community? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 597
139319 What do you think is the right job for you when you grow up?... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 591
139318 What did you do the day before yesterday and write about your... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 775
139317 What\'s your thought on vending machines in elementary schools? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 662
139316 What do you think is the best way to go to school? Explain. Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 949
139315 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 1
139314 2024.08.19 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 592
139313 The positive side of peer pressure ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 846
139312 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 671
139311 homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-20 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04