¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

For perfect writing

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*¿¬
2024-10-01 272

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

We all have the right to an education.
Education is not simply given to some classes, but a natural right of the people and a natural responsibility that the state must guarantee.
Modern society is mostly tied to jobs in education although there are many ways about making money.
Regardless of money, individuals' potential abilities can be developed through education, which can improve their quality of life.
In a capitalist society, social inequality is a serious problem and youth unemployment is rising. It can be one way to solve this problem.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Seo Yeon!
Thank you for expressing your thoughts through this composition :) Until your next work ^^
Chammy

We all have the right to an education.
Education is not simply given to some classes, but a natural right of the people and a natural responsibility that the state must guarantee.
>>Correct
Modern society is mostly tied to jobs in education although there are many ways about making money.
>> Modern society is mostly tied to educational jobs although there are many ways to make money.
Regardless of money, individuals' potential abilities can be developed through education, which can improve their quality of life.
In a capitalist society, social inequality is a serious problem and youth unemployment is rising. It can be one way to solve this problem.
>>Correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139650 If you could star in a movie genre you¡¯ve never tried before,... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 531
139649 Describe the world 100 years from now. Describe how people live,... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 516
139648 What do you usually do when you¡¯re stuck in a traffic jam? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 3
139647 When is the best time for you to spend time with your family and... ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 870
139646 Sorry ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 5
139645 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 461
139644 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 6
139643 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 641
139642 Nowadays, most countries improve their living standards through... do*eun ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 802
139641 Homework : What does yourname mean in your conutry? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 649
139640 What good party games do you know? How are they played? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 579
139639 Do you think holidays are important? Why? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 2
139638 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 456
139637 Friday ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 338
139636 9/2(Mon) homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 918
139635 What\'s the most innovative piece of technology you\'ve... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 583
139634 My special experience made up with someone ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 596
139633 What are the benefits of having foreign friends? ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 3
139632 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 0
139631 diary ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-02 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04