¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

For perfect writing

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*¿¬
2024-10-01 481

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

We all have the right to an education.
Education is not simply given to some classes, but a natural right of the people and a natural responsibility that the state must guarantee.
Modern society is mostly tied to jobs in education although there are many ways about making money.
Regardless of money, individuals' potential abilities can be developed through education, which can improve their quality of life.
In a capitalist society, social inequality is a serious problem and youth unemployment is rising. It can be one way to solve this problem.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Seo Yeon!
Thank you for expressing your thoughts through this composition :) Until your next work ^^
Chammy

We all have the right to an education.
Education is not simply given to some classes, but a natural right of the people and a natural responsibility that the state must guarantee.
>>Correct
Modern society is mostly tied to jobs in education although there are many ways about making money.
>> Modern society is mostly tied to educational jobs although there are many ways to make money.
Regardless of money, individuals' potential abilities can be developed through education, which can improve their quality of life.
In a capitalist society, social inequality is a serious problem and youth unemployment is rising. It can be one way to solve this problem.
>>Correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136697 Do you think you have a healthy eating habit? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-24 439
136696 Do you think dogs should not be allowed in parks? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-24 836
136695 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-24 538
136694 Have you ever talked to a demanding client? How did you handle... ÀÌ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-24 3
136693 Would you like to visit Sahara desert? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-24 1284
136692 >> What are your thoughts on Korea\'s education system? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-04-24 1
136691 2024.04.23 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-04-24 917
136690 Homework 2 ¼Û*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-24 949
136689 What are some of the biggest challenges you face when trying to... À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-24 1
136688 How can music help with motivation during a workout? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-24 654
136687 I think it is very insignificant for humans to deal with... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-04-24 644
136686 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-24 551
136685 I\'ve never met anyone enough to influence decisions and actions. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-04-24 523
136684 You\'re my best teacher. :) À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-04-24 699
136683 10 years from now ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-24 3
136682 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-24 1
136681 HW ³ª*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-24 947
136680 HOMEWORK FOR 04.24.2024 WRITING TASK: How can you wisely budget... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-24 3
136679 What kind of business do you want to set up? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-24 3
136678 What are the dangers of having our own business? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-24 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04