¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why do you think people sometimes ignore or overlook others who are smaller or quiete?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*À±
2024-09-28 75

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Of course a lot of people feel power and dangerous for bigger or louder people. We feel less burden someone thin or short. We usually say "louder is winer" In Korea. But it's gonna be hurt if you ignore smaller of quiet people. Don't judge by it's cover.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hey, Ji Yun. Great job on sharing your thoughts on the homework topic. I hope the corrections I made will be very informative and useful. I wish you a great night and take it easy. Until the next class. ~ Jane :) 


Of course a lot of people feel power and dangerous for bigger or louder people. 
>> Of course, a lot of people feel powerless and in danger against bigger or louder people. 

We feel less burden someone thin or short. 
>> We feel bad for someone thin or short. 

We usually say "louder is winer" In Korea. 
>> We usually say "the louder one wins" in Korea. 

But it's gonna be hurt if you ignore smaller of quiet people. 
>> But it's hurtful if we ignore smaller or quiet people. 

Don't judge by it's cover. 
>> Don't judge a book by its cover. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138828 Do you like going to the hospital ? °­*¼º ¿Ï·á 2024-07-29 396
138827 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-29 338
138826 What would you do if someone gossiped about you? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-29 4
138825 What is the most unusual thing you\'ve ever eaten? Did it taste... Àå*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-29 424
138824 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-29 431
138823 2024.07.29 ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-07-29 1
138822 24/7 shop ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-29 1
138821 July 26th homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-29 425
138820 homework ¹®*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-29 371
138819 In your own opinion, what do you think are the factors that... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-29 267
138818 Traffic rules prone to breaking ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-29 3
138817 Explain the saying \"Time is Gold.\" ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-07-29 415
138816 Q) Do you think a government could make everyone happy? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-29 1
138815 Have you ever become an athlete? ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-07-29 252
138814 Page.31 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-29 2
138813 HOMEWORK FOR 07.29.2024 WRITING TASK: How do you handle problems... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-29 6
138812 Homework 07.19 / 07.26. 2024 ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-29 3
138811 H.W À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-29 0
138810 The reason why music is a cultural activity ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-07-29 422
138809 I think blame the person is more reasonable. ±è*¼ö ÁøÇàÁß 2024-07-29 365

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04