¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why do you think people sometimes ignore or overlook others who are smaller or quiete?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*À±
2024-09-28 247

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Of course a lot of people feel power and dangerous for bigger or louder people. We feel less burden someone thin or short. We usually say "louder is winer" In Korea. But it's gonna be hurt if you ignore smaller of quiet people. Don't judge by it's cover.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hey, Ji Yun. Great job on sharing your thoughts on the homework topic. I hope the corrections I made will be very informative and useful. I wish you a great night and take it easy. Until the next class. ~ Jane :) 


Of course a lot of people feel power and dangerous for bigger or louder people. 
>> Of course, a lot of people feel powerless and in danger against bigger or louder people. 

We feel less burden someone thin or short. 
>> We feel bad for someone thin or short. 

We usually say "louder is winer" In Korea. 
>> We usually say "the louder one wins" in Korea. 

But it's gonna be hurt if you ignore smaller of quiet people. 
>> But it's hurtful if we ignore smaller or quiet people. 

Don't judge by it's cover. 
>> Don't judge a book by its cover. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
135803 Homework ¹Ú*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-03-24 615
135802 homework ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-24 0
135801 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-24 1
135800 Do you prefer living in a house or an apartment? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-24 5
135799 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-24 641
135798 homework ÇÏ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-24 1042
135797 Describe one emotion you feel strongly about and explain why... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-23 443
135796 A favorite book character ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-23 471
135795 What was the most unusal food you have tried? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-23 3
135794 What do you think are the reasons why people want to be... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-03-23 617
135793 question and homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-23 771
135792 question and homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 504
135791 question and homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 652
135790 Who is the most beautiful person you know? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 0
135789 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 792
135788 Have you ever been stung by a jellyfish or a sea urchin? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 719
135787 homework 03.22 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 730
135786 Homework ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 811
135785 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 740
135784 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-22 421

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04