¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why do you think people sometimes ignore or overlook others who are smaller or quiete?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*À±
2024-09-28 879

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Of course a lot of people feel power and dangerous for bigger or louder people. We feel less burden someone thin or short. We usually say "louder is winer" In Korea. But it's gonna be hurt if you ignore smaller of quiet people. Don't judge by it's cover.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hey, Ji Yun. Great job on sharing your thoughts on the homework topic. I hope the corrections I made will be very informative and useful. I wish you a great night and take it easy. Until the next class. ~ Jane :) 


Of course a lot of people feel power and dangerous for bigger or louder people. 
>> Of course, a lot of people feel powerless and in danger against bigger or louder people. 

We feel less burden someone thin or short. 
>> We feel bad for someone thin or short. 

We usually say "louder is winer" In Korea. 
>> We usually say "the louder one wins" in Korea. 

But it's gonna be hurt if you ignore smaller of quiet people. 
>> But it's hurtful if we ignore smaller or quiet people. 

Don't judge by it's cover. 
>> Don't judge a book by its cover. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137945 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 0
137944 HOMEWORK DAY 4 ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 932
137943 6/19 ¿ì*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 1
137942 Wearing uniforms enhances school pride, unity, and community... ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 1007
137941 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 777
137940 The place I want to visit ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 9
137939 What is your favorite book of all time? Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 921
137938 2024.06.18 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 888
137937 doctor ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 1
137936 Can sadness be useful in people¡¯s lives? ÀÌ*Å ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 905
137935 How does surfing spread around the world? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 1121
137934 How do you prioritize your tasks and goals at work? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 840
137933 How does stress affect people? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 703
137932 HOMEWORK Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 695
137931 How do you think Koreans can reduce food waste? ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 715
137930 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 736
137929 E-world honorary ambassador ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 741
137928 What are some of the reasons people choose to adopt? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 0
137927 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 3
137926 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04