¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*Çö
2024-09-27 480

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hellow teacher
Good evening
Sorry teacher I made a mistake to you yesterday
I make this mistake next time
Homework
Why is it important to have your own property?
My answer
I think important to have own property beacuse I will give it to my future child

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Jae Hyeon!

Don't worry about that minor issue. I understand that there are situations beyond our control.
Thank you for doing your homework.

~T. Divina^^

Here are some notes:

1. I make this mistake next time
>>I won't make the same mistake next time.

2. I think important to have own property beacuse I will give it to my future child
>>I think it is important to have my own property because I will give it to my future child.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140367 What steps do you take to stay motivated when working towards... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-11 380
140366 How do you personalize your space to make it feel like home? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-11 416
140365 Do you like to help others? How do you feel when you help... ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-10-11 2
140364 second homework ÃÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-11 352
140363 Which is always the best part of your day? ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-10-11 366
140362 What outdoor activities do you like to do during autumn? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-11 444
140361 Do you have any favorite healthy snacks or meals that fuel your... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-11 379
140360 My homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-11 487
140359 Homework ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-10 2
140358 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-10 2
140357 Job compensation vs Job satisfaction ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-10 547
140356 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-10 304
140355 Dear Gemma Àü*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-10 284
140354 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-10 384
140353 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-10 520
140352 Which is always the best part of your day? ¹Ú*½Ä ¿Ï·á 2024-10-10 382
140351 09oct2024-homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-10 508
140350 In your opinion, what is the best and worst Korean dish for you?... ÇÑ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-10 453
140349 Do you like to talk to the local people when you travel? Why or... ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-10 455
140348 What makes an actor/actress talented for you? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-10 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04