무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

networks important for getting jobs

작성자: 박*경
2024-09-26 571

회원님의 영작문

Friendship networks are really important for getting jobs in Korea. When we were young, we trust that the person who is skillful and talented absolutely get a well-paid job, getting a good reputation. It is true partly, but, not always. Maybe it was a illusion, and we could think like that because we didn't know anything about real society. In Korea, friendship networks are the most important condition in some industry. For example, lawyer, entertainment industries are typical. Actually, the industry many elites specialize in is representative of this case. Elites form their own networks including school ties and they help each other when they try to get a job. Sometimes, It can be work unfairly for other people who are out of their networks. Of course there are many jobs whoever can work in, and in the majority of cases these jobs include basic duties. Even in these field, friends networking can be beneficial for some people.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Ms. Casey! This is something that also exists in the Philippines but is more common in the school setting. There are instances when students get special treatment especially if their parents have special connections in the school or anyone who is well-known. I guess that's the harsh and unfair reality.
-T. Sonny
Friendship networks are really important for getting jobs in Korea. 
>>Correct!
When we were young, we trust that the person who is skillful and talented absolutely get a well-paid job, getting a good reputation. 
>>When we were young, we trust people who are skillful, talented, has a well-paid job and has a good reputation. 
It is true partly, but, not always. 
>>It is partly true, but, not always. 
Maybe it was a illusion, and we could think like that because we didn't know anything about real society. 
>>Maybe it was an illusion, and we used to think like that because we didn't know anything about the real society. 
In Korea, friendship networks are the most important condition in some industry. 
>>In Korea, friendship network is the most important factor for some industries. 
For example, lawyer, entertainment industries are typical. 
>>The typical examples would be people who work in the field of law and entertainment.
Actually, the industry many elites specialize in is representative of this case. 
>>Actually, many elites who are professionals are the best example for this case.
Elites form their own networks including school ties and they help each other when they try to get a job. 
>>Elites form their own networks including school connections and help each other when getting a job. 
Sometimes, It can be work unfairly for other people who are out of their networks. 
>>Sometimes, it can be unfair for other people who are not a part of their networks.
Of course there are many jobs whoever can work in, and in the majority of cases these jobs include basic duties. 
>>Of course, there are many jobs anyone can work in, though most of these jobs only include the basic duties. 
Even in these field, friends networking can be beneficial for some people.
>>Even for people in this field, friends network can play a great role.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
140927 Would you like to dye your hair a different color? What color... 이*범 완료 2024-11-12 3
140926 Is it easy or difficult to ride your choice of transportation? 박*현 완료 2024-11-12 276
140925 What would it be like to study using artificial intelligence? 이*윤 완료 2024-11-11 186
140924 Homework 김*우 완료 2024-11-11 2
140923 on the beach 민*정 완료 2024-11-11 1
140922 homework 이*숙 완료 2024-11-11 256
140921 Is it more important to be a good listener or a good speaker? 이*희 완료 2024-11-11 265
140920 Home work 신*라 완료 2024-11-11 257
140919 11Nov2024_homework 김*라 완료 2024-11-11 263
140918 What is your current favorite movie and why? 오*민 완료 2024-11-11 183
140917 flower 민*정 완료 2024-11-11 1
140916 Do you believe that sometimes tough love is necessary for... 신*규 완료 2024-11-11 181
140915 What is the best complimentary service you\'ve received? 임*실 완료 2024-11-11 187
140914 ^^ 임*실 완료 2024-11-11 171
140913 How do you confirm your reservation when you book a hotel room? 임*실 완료 2024-11-11 186
140912 HOMEWORK FOR 10.21.2024 WRITING TASK: What else can you do to... 임*지 완료 2024-11-11 3
140911 HOMEWORK FOR 10.18.2024 WRITING TASK: What business do you want... 임*지 완료 2024-11-11 5
140910 HOMEWORK FOR 11.06.2024 WRITING TASK: What would make you say... 임*지 완료 2024-11-11 4
140909 HOMEWORK FOR 11.11.2024 WRITING TASK: How do you create a... 임*지 완료 2024-11-11 3
140908 08Nov2024_homework 김*라 완료 2024-11-11 189

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]