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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What kind of organization are you dreaming of creating?

작성자: 김*린
2024-09-26 146

회원님의 영작문

I want to create an drawing organization. I felt happy when I was drawing a picture with my friends when I was young. These days, I don't have any drawing partner. It will be great if our group member could be a model and we draw a croquis. I read croquis cartoon in the pass. It showed the drawing club's rule. There was a rule to choose a topic for the meeting and bring related clothes or props. For example if the theme is red, they wear a red hat or bring a red umbrella. So they pose using the clothes or props they brought when they become models one by one. I was so excited when I read this cartoon and I was looking forward to organizing this dreaming drawing club.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hey, Lin! That sounds like a fantastic idea! Creating a drawing organization where members can model and use props would be a great way to bring people together and inspire creativity. I love the concept of choosing themes for each meeting—it adds an exciting element to the drawing process. I'm excited to see how your dream drawing club develops!
~T. Jenna

I want to create an drawing organization. 
>> I want to create a drawing organization.
OR
>>I aspire to establish a drawing organization.
I felt happy when I was drawing a picture with my friends when I was young. 
Correct, or
>>I experienced joy while creating artwork with my friends during my childhood.
These days, I don't have any drawing partner. 
Correct, or
>>These days, I'm flying solo when it comes to drawing.
It will be great if our group member could be a model and we draw a croquis. 
>>It would be great if one of our group members could be a model and we could draw croquis.
OR
>>It would be wonderful if one our group members could serve as  models for us to create croquis
I read croquis cartoon in the pass. 
>>I read a croquis cartoon in the past.
It showed the drawing club's rule. 
Correct, or
>>It outlined the rules for the drawing club.
There was a rule to choose a topic for the meeting and bring related clothes or props. 
Correct, or
>>There was a rule to select a theme for the meeting and to bring corresponding attire or props.
For example if the theme is red, they wear a red hat or bring a red umbrella. 
>>For example, if the theme is red, they wear a red hat or bring a red umbrella.
OR
>>For instance, if the theme is red, participants don a red hat or bring a red umbrella.
So they pose using the clothes or props they brought when they become models one by one. 
Correct, or
>>They take turns posing with the clothing or props they have brought as they assume the role of models.
I was so excited when I read this cartoon and I was looking forward to organizing this dreaming drawing club.
>>I was so excited when I read this cartoon and I was looking forward to organizing this dream drawing club.
OR
>>I was thrilled when I read this cartoon, and I looked forward to organizing this dream drawing club.
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