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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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If there are people that you do not want to come to your country, who are they and why?

작성자: 김*경
2024-09-25 446

회원님의 영작문

I didn’t think about people who don’t want to come here but who can’t come here due to political situations or visa problems because even Japanese enjoy visiting Korea and vice versa. If there could be some people who don’t want to come to Korea, they might be people who take Korea for enemy or competitor whether politically or economically. Many years ago, we Koreans made protest against Japan’s controversial and distorted perception of history between Korea and Japan. We couldn’t stand looking at Japan’s intentional distortion what happened to get political benefits such as Dokdo located between two countries. Only very few Koreans visited Japan, causing economical severe damage on Japan tourism industry which live on Korean tourists during the boycott. But this was brought about by Japanese right-leaning radical politicians not by normal Japanese. I hope that kind of conflicts and victims don't happen anymore.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Yeong!
Who wouldn't like to be visited by tourists, right? Tourism also promotes the development of one's economy. However, there are factors that we (citizens) are thinking that a certain country must not go into your country for safety and security purposes. Thank you for your answers.There were just those small errors that need to me modified in your sentence. 
Have a good day!
Aki~

I didn’t think about people who don’t want to come here but who can’t come here due to political situations or visa problems because even Japanese enjoy visiting Korea and vice versa.
>>> I didn’t think about people who don’t want to come here but who can’t come here due to political situations or visa problems because even the Japanese enjoy visiting Korea and vice versa.

If there could be some people who don’t want to come to Korea, they might be people who take Korea for enemy or competitor whether politically or economically.
>>> If some people don’t want to come to Korea, they might be people who take Korea as an enemy or competitor whether politically or economically.

Many years ago, we Koreans made protest against Japan’s controversial and distorted perception of history between Korea and Japan.
>>> Many years ago, we Koreans protested against Japan’s controversial and distorted perception of history between Korea and Japan.

We couldn’t stand looking at Japan’s intentional distortion what happened to get political benefits such as Dokdo located between two countries.
>>>  We couldn’t stand looking at Japan’s intentional distortion of what happened to get political benefits such as Dokdo located between two countries.

Only very few Koreans visited Japan, causing economical severe damage on Japan tourism industry which live on Korean tourists during the boycott
>>>  Only very few Koreans visited Japan, causing severe economic damage to Japan's tourism industry which lived on Korean tourists during the boycott.

 But this was brought about by Japanese right-leaning radical politicians not by normal Japanese. I hope that kind of conflicts and victims don't happen anymore.
>>>  But this was brought about by Japanese right-leaning radical politicians, not by normal Japanese. I hope that kind of conflict and victims don't happen anymore.
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