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영작교정 게시판

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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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Can you provide an example of a hobby that you consider a waste of time or not worth pursuing?

작성자: 김*린
2024-09-24 1513

회원님의 영작문

I believe that there is no useless hobby as long as it doesn't harm others and go against the law.
For example, a hobby that person takes pictures on the street and take picture of people passing by is bad. Because it offends the other person for violating portrait rights. Expect these kinds of hobby, I think it's doesn't matter. In case of the hobby of playing oneline games may seem like a waste of time to someone, but it might be a meaningful for oneself. Because someone can build one's confidence by finshing step by step or feel healing. Of course, when limited to me, playing online games is a waste of time.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hey, Lin! Thank you for sharing your thoughts on hobbies! I appreciate your perspective that no hobby is useless as long as it respects others and the law. You make a valid point about portrait rights and how some activities can be seen differently by others. It’s great that you recognize the personal value of hobbies like online gaming, even if they might seem like a waste of time to some. 
~T. Jenna

I believe that there is no useless hobby as long as it doesn't harm others and go against the law.
Correct, or
>>I believe that no hobby is useless as long as it does not harm others or violate the law.
For example, a hobby that person takes pictures on the street and take picture of people passing by is bad.  Because it offends the other person for violating portrait rights.
>>For example, a hobby in which a person takes pictures on the street of people passing by is problematic because it offends others by violating their portrait rights.
Expect these kinds of hobby, I think it's doesn't matter.
>>Except for these kinds of hobbies, I think it doesn't matter.
In case of the hobby of playing oneline games may seem like a waste of time to someone, but it might be a meaningful for oneself. 
>>In the case of playing online games, it may seem like a waste of time to some, but it can be meaningful for the individual.
Because someone can build one's confidence by finshing step by step or feel healing. 
>>It is because individuals can build their confidence by achieving goals step by step or find healing through the experience.
Of course, when limited to me, playing online games is a waste of time.
Correct, or
>>Admittedly, from my perspective, playing online games amounts to a frivolous expenditure of time.
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