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How important are cosmetics?

작성자: 이*윤
2024-09-20 223

회원님의 영작문

Cosmetics have become a necessity these days.
Whether it's a woman or a man, it's a time when they do makeup and carry cosmetics.
Therefore, I think cosmetics are very impoartant items for people.
It is used to keep the face clean, and middle-aged people also use cosmetics to prevent aging.
This is because people who are not confident in their faces and those who have complex in their faces gain confidence by using cosmetics, and those who have acnee or scar use cosmetics to cover their acne or scar.
Also there is a strong perception that you must do makeup to important events such as important interviews.
This is because it may seem rude to participate in the event with your clean face.
Based on these things, cosmetics have become an inseparable and important item for many people.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Yun!
I hope you did well today on your interview!^^ See you on Wednesday~
Chammy
Cosmetics have become a necessity these days.
Whether it's a woman or a man, it's a time when they do makeup and carry cosmetics.
>>Correct
Therefore, I think cosmetics are very impoartant items for people.
>>Therefore, I think cosmetics are very important items for people.
It is used to keep the face clean, and middle-aged people also use cosmetics to prevent aging.
>>Correct
This is because people who are not confident in their faces and those who have complex in their faces gain confidence by using cosmetics, and those who have acnee or scar use cosmetics to cover their acne or scar.
>> This is because people who are not confident in their faces and those who have complexes in their faces gain confidence by using cosmetics, and those who have acne or scar use cosmetics to cover their acne or scar.
OR
>> This is due to the fact that people who have complexes or lack confidence in their faces, as well as those who have acne or scars, utilize cosmetics to cover up their imperfections.
Also there is a strong perception that you must do makeup to important events such as important interviews.
>>Also, there is a strong perception that you must do makeup for important events such as important interviews.
This is because it may seem rude to participate in the event with your clean face.
OR
>>This is because it may appear inappropriate to participate in the event with a bare face.
Based on these things, cosmetics have become an inseparable and important item for many people.
>>Correct
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02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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03
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04

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