¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The negative side of \"Are humans too dependent on computers?\"

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Õ*Èñ
2024-09-19 79

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, I'm Hana, and I'd like to present my opinion on the topic, "Are humans too dependent on computers?". I think humans are not too dependent on computers.
First, computers make our lives much easier. Have you ever worked with documents? If you have, can you directly calculate or memorize and execute the office work you have been doing in Excel or Word? I'm sure you won't. Like this, computers are convenient for our lives because they process tasks dozens of times faster than the human brain.
Second, the statement that 'people are too dependent on computers' is an anachronistic one. People rely more on their cell phones than on computers, and computers are now used only for work such as working on documents or PPTs.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Hana! Good job today! You didn't only present your ideas well, but also did it in perfect grammar and spelling, Keep up the great work. See you!
--Teacher Anji


Hello, I'm Hana, and I'd like to present my opinion on the topic, "Are humans too dependent on computers?". 
>> CORRECT
I think humans are not too dependent on computers.
>> CORRECT
First, computers make our lives much easier. 
>> CORRECT
Have you ever worked with documents? 
>> CORRECT
If you have, can you directly calculate or memorize and execute the office work you have been doing in Excel or Word? I'm sure you won't.
>> CORRECT
 Like this, computers are convenient for our lives because they process tasks dozens of times faster than the human brain.
>> CORRECT
Second, the statement that 'people are too dependent on computers' is an anachronistic one. 
>> CORRECT
People rely more on their cell phones than on computers, and computers are now used only for work such as working on documents or PPTs.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138659 How frequently do you look at yourself in the mirror? How often... Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-07-22 181
138658 How to decrease the crime rate ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-22 6
138657 Inside 2 ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-22 179
138656 Do you usually share your problems with your friends? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-22 2
138655 What do you think of high-end luxury brands? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-22 4
138654 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-22 226
138653 What do you think of the idea of naming babies after their... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-22 1
138652 Right now, what is your concept of family? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-22 1
138651 List down at least 5 things you expect to see and do in London. ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-22 2
138650 Homwork ½Å*Á¾ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-22 0
138649 Prefer to driving ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-22 207
138648 Do you think snorkeling is a suitable activity for all ages?... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-22 197
138647 HOMEWORK Á¤*ȯ ÁøÇàÁß 2024-07-22 160
138646 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-07-22 155
138645 H.W À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-22 0
138644 vice ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-07-21 182
138643 How has vacationing with your family changed over the years? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-07-21 171
138642 Do you think we¡¯ve become obsessed with technology? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-21 179
138641 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-21 1
138640 What improvements do you think should still be made in parks in... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-21 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04