¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The negative side of \"Are humans too dependent on computers?\"

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Õ*Èñ
2024-09-19 1680

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, I'm Hana, and I'd like to present my opinion on the topic, "Are humans too dependent on computers?". I think humans are not too dependent on computers.
First, computers make our lives much easier. Have you ever worked with documents? If you have, can you directly calculate or memorize and execute the office work you have been doing in Excel or Word? I'm sure you won't. Like this, computers are convenient for our lives because they process tasks dozens of times faster than the human brain.
Second, the statement that 'people are too dependent on computers' is an anachronistic one. People rely more on their cell phones than on computers, and computers are now used only for work such as working on documents or PPTs.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Hana! Good job today! You didn't only present your ideas well, but also did it in perfect grammar and spelling, Keep up the great work. See you!
--Teacher Anji


Hello, I'm Hana, and I'd like to present my opinion on the topic, "Are humans too dependent on computers?". 
>> CORRECT
I think humans are not too dependent on computers.
>> CORRECT
First, computers make our lives much easier. 
>> CORRECT
Have you ever worked with documents? 
>> CORRECT
If you have, can you directly calculate or memorize and execute the office work you have been doing in Excel or Word? I'm sure you won't.
>> CORRECT
 Like this, computers are convenient for our lives because they process tasks dozens of times faster than the human brain.
>> CORRECT
Second, the statement that 'people are too dependent on computers' is an anachronistic one. 
>> CORRECT
People rely more on their cell phones than on computers, and computers are now used only for work such as working on documents or PPTs.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139999 The pros of getting a prescription ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-23 1766
139998 What are your retirement plans? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-23 1445
139997 What are the things that you care less about now? How did your... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-23 1290
139996 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-23 1780
139995 What do you do when you see someone in danger? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-23 0
139994 Page 20. ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-23 0
139993 Sep 20th homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-22 1635
139992 What do you like least about Chuseok? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-22 2
139991 Why do you think some people spend money on buying souvenirs... Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-22 1
139990 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-22 3
139989 HOMEWORK È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-09-22 0
139988 Have you even seen falling stars? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-22 1490
139987 HOMEWORK È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-09-22 1656
139986 New features ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-21 1538
139985 Homework ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-21 1768
139984 No ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-09-21 1717
139983 If you were President of Korea, what would you do to improve... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-21 0
139982 Homework_Day5 (Q. How do you find the best restaurants to eat... ·ù*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-21 1708
139981 what is the most difficult things about learning english? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-09-21 1567
139980 hello ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-20 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04