¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The positive side of \"Are smartphones ruining our world?\"

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Õ*Èñ
2024-09-12 766

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, I'm Hana, and I'd like to present my opinion on the topic, "Are smartphones ruining our world?". I think smartphones are ruining our world. First, a literacy of people is decreasing by using smartphones. As you know, recent students like short-contents such Shorts of Reels. As students continue to watch short-form content on their smartphones, the amount of reading they do is decreasing. Therefore, students' literacy are also decreasing now. E-books exist as an alternative, but they are very bad for students' eye health.
Second, people's dependence on smartphones is worsening. It is also connected with smartphone addiction, but I want to argue that the need for smartphones has gone beyond the norm. Among the AI ​​systems installed in smartphones, those related to food, clothing, and shelter are helpful to human life. However, AI technologies that provide knowledge, such as ChatGPT, are being abused over time. For example, Some student copy what ChatGPT says and do their homework

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Hana! Thank you for these wonderful insights again. Let's discuss it more in the class. See you.
--Teacher Anji


Hello, I'm Hana, and I'd like to present my opinion on the topic, "Are smartphones ruining our world?".
>> CORRECT
I think smartphones are ruining our world. 
>> CORRECT
First, a literacy of people is decreasing by using smartphones.
>>  First, people's literary is decreasing due to the use of smartphones. 
As you know, recent students like short-contents such Shorts of Reels.
>> As you know, recent students prefer short content, such as Shorts or Reels.
As students continue to watch short-form content on their smartphones, the amount of reading they do is decreasing. 
>> CORRECT
Therefore, students' literacy are also decreasing now.
>> Therefore, students' literacy is also decreasing now.
E-books exist as an alternative, but they are very bad for students' eye health.
>> CORRECT
Second, people's dependence on smartphones is worsening. It is also connected with smartphone addiction, but I want to argue that the need for smartphones has gone beyond the norm. 
>> CORRECT
Among the AI technology systems installed in smartphones, those related to food, clothing, and shelter are helpful to human life. 
>> CORRECT
However, AI technologies that provide knowledge, such as ChatGPT, are being abused over time.
>> CORRECT
For example, Some student copy what ChatGPT says and do their homework.
>> For example, some students copy what ChatGPT says and do their homework.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139457 How do you respect the privacy of all the members of your family? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-26 773
139456 debt ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-26 1
139455 mind ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-26 0
139454 Can you name three jobs you can be good at? ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-08-26 1011
139453 homework ¹®*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-26 1
139452 Do you think being outgoing is important for career success? Why... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-26 718
139451 Plastic surgery ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-26 722
139450 What is the most expensive item you have purchased, and do you... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-26 1126
139449 If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would you... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-26 0
139448 What is the most popular song in your country right now? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-26 0
139447 Is anger ever a bad thing? If so, when? Why? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-26 0
139446 Who is your hero, and what do you like about them? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-26 0
139445 Page.58 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-25 731
139444 What are the disadvantages of upsizing your meal? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-25 1
139443 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-25 0
139442 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-25 2
139441 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-25 0
139440 What\'s your thought on your school election? Do you think class... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-25 989
139439 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-25 3
139438 Homework, ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-25 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04