¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The positive side of \"Are smartphones ruining our world?\"

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Õ*Èñ
2024-09-12 62

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, I'm Hana, and I'd like to present my opinion on the topic, "Are smartphones ruining our world?". I think smartphones are ruining our world. First, a literacy of people is decreasing by using smartphones. As you know, recent students like short-contents such Shorts of Reels. As students continue to watch short-form content on their smartphones, the amount of reading they do is decreasing. Therefore, students' literacy are also decreasing now. E-books exist as an alternative, but they are very bad for students' eye health.
Second, people's dependence on smartphones is worsening. It is also connected with smartphone addiction, but I want to argue that the need for smartphones has gone beyond the norm. Among the AI ​​systems installed in smartphones, those related to food, clothing, and shelter are helpful to human life. However, AI technologies that provide knowledge, such as ChatGPT, are being abused over time. For example, Some student copy what ChatGPT says and do their homework

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Hana! Thank you for these wonderful insights again. Let's discuss it more in the class. See you.
--Teacher Anji


Hello, I'm Hana, and I'd like to present my opinion on the topic, "Are smartphones ruining our world?".
>> CORRECT
I think smartphones are ruining our world. 
>> CORRECT
First, a literacy of people is decreasing by using smartphones.
>>  First, people's literary is decreasing due to the use of smartphones. 
As you know, recent students like short-contents such Shorts of Reels.
>> As you know, recent students prefer short content, such as Shorts or Reels.
As students continue to watch short-form content on their smartphones, the amount of reading they do is decreasing. 
>> CORRECT
Therefore, students' literacy are also decreasing now.
>> Therefore, students' literacy is also decreasing now.
E-books exist as an alternative, but they are very bad for students' eye health.
>> CORRECT
Second, people's dependence on smartphones is worsening. It is also connected with smartphone addiction, but I want to argue that the need for smartphones has gone beyond the norm. 
>> CORRECT
Among the AI technology systems installed in smartphones, those related to food, clothing, and shelter are helpful to human life. 
>> CORRECT
However, AI technologies that provide knowledge, such as ChatGPT, are being abused over time.
>> CORRECT
For example, Some student copy what ChatGPT says and do their homework.
>> For example, some students copy what ChatGPT says and do their homework.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139245 What do you need to prepare when doing a presentation? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-18 1
139244 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-18 1
139243 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-18 2
139242 0818 writing task ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-18 5
139241 Homework ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-17 6
139240 homrwork day6 ¹Ú*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-17 3
139239 How do you balance relaxation and responsibilities while at home? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-08-17 122
139238 Homework ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 2
139237 What is the best part of your childhood? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 130
139236 The most scaring insect ¹Ú*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 143
139235 Fanfic of Harry Potter ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 125
139234 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 139
139233 2024.08.16 ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 121
139232 In order to look good is the most important working out. ÀÌ*¸§ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 115
139231 Science subjects that I\'ve learned in school ¹Ú*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 172
139230 16.Aug.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 1
139229 2024.08.15 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 139
139228 If you could have the perfect birthday party, what would it be? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 111
139227 What do you think of the sound and smell of rain? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 141
139226 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-16 145

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04