¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The positive side of \"Are smartphones ruining our world?\"

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Õ*Èñ
2024-09-12 575

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, I'm Hana, and I'd like to present my opinion on the topic, "Are smartphones ruining our world?". I think smartphones are ruining our world. First, a literacy of people is decreasing by using smartphones. As you know, recent students like short-contents such Shorts of Reels. As students continue to watch short-form content on their smartphones, the amount of reading they do is decreasing. Therefore, students' literacy are also decreasing now. E-books exist as an alternative, but they are very bad for students' eye health.
Second, people's dependence on smartphones is worsening. It is also connected with smartphone addiction, but I want to argue that the need for smartphones has gone beyond the norm. Among the AI ​​systems installed in smartphones, those related to food, clothing, and shelter are helpful to human life. However, AI technologies that provide knowledge, such as ChatGPT, are being abused over time. For example, Some student copy what ChatGPT says and do their homework

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Hana! Thank you for these wonderful insights again. Let's discuss it more in the class. See you.
--Teacher Anji


Hello, I'm Hana, and I'd like to present my opinion on the topic, "Are smartphones ruining our world?".
>> CORRECT
I think smartphones are ruining our world. 
>> CORRECT
First, a literacy of people is decreasing by using smartphones.
>>  First, people's literary is decreasing due to the use of smartphones. 
As you know, recent students like short-contents such Shorts of Reels.
>> As you know, recent students prefer short content, such as Shorts or Reels.
As students continue to watch short-form content on their smartphones, the amount of reading they do is decreasing. 
>> CORRECT
Therefore, students' literacy are also decreasing now.
>> Therefore, students' literacy is also decreasing now.
E-books exist as an alternative, but they are very bad for students' eye health.
>> CORRECT
Second, people's dependence on smartphones is worsening. It is also connected with smartphone addiction, but I want to argue that the need for smartphones has gone beyond the norm. 
>> CORRECT
Among the AI technology systems installed in smartphones, those related to food, clothing, and shelter are helpful to human life. 
>> CORRECT
However, AI technologies that provide knowledge, such as ChatGPT, are being abused over time.
>> CORRECT
For example, Some student copy what ChatGPT says and do their homework.
>> For example, some students copy what ChatGPT says and do their homework.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136306 Inspired ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 1
136305 Some people say breakfast is the most important meal of the day.... À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 1
136304 What is one valuable lesson you have learned from your mother? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 637
136303 What does a holiday mean to you? ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 611
136302 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 672
136301 HOMEWORK FOR 04.11.2024 WRITING TASK: What would you do if the... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 6
136300 HW ³ª*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 740
136299 homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 784
136298 HOMEWORK FOR 04.10.2024 WRITING TASK: Have you ever joined a... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 4
136297 HOMEWORK FOR 04.09.2024 WRITING TASK: What is a famous fantasy... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 6
136296 Do you prefer going out on your own or with your friends? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 1
136295 How are hobbies now different from hobbies in the past? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 0
136294 Do you enjoy going to different places just to eat? ±è*¿í ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 672
136293 keeping pets for children Á¤*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 932
136292 What was your worst experience of rejection and best experience... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 1
136291 homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 971
136290 homework À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-04-10 718
136289 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-10 809
136288 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-10 507
136287 I want to know these sentences are grammatically correct! °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-10 508

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04