¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The negative side of \"Are Social networking sites good for our society?\"

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Õ*Èñ
2024-09-10 301

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, I'm Hana, and I'd like to present my opinion on the topic, "Are Social networking sites good for our society?" . I think social networking sites is bad for our society. First, the addiction social networking is very serious and controversial problem in nowadays. I'm sure that you know Youtube and Instagram. The addiction of their short-form contents has bad influence for young students or kids. For example, compared to before, when short-form content was not introduced, social networking activities have increased dramatically, and the number of young children whose sight is rapidly deteriorating is on the rise.
Second, The meaning of social networking has already been distorted for many years. Very few people grow and communicate socially through social networking, but 90% of people write comments mixed with criticism and ridicule. A case in point is the witch hunt.
In conclusion, we have to find solutions about these problems.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Hana! Thank you for these meaningful answers. Let us discuss further in our class. See you!
--Teacher Anji



Hello, I'm Hana, and I'd like to present my opinion on the topic, "Are Social networking sites good for our society?"
>> CORRECT
I think social networking sites is bad for our society.
>>I think social networking sites are bad for our society.

First, the addiction social networking is very serious and controversial problem in nowadays.
>> First, addiction to social networking is a very serious and controversial problem nowadays.
I'm sure that you know Youtube and Instagram.
>> I'm sure that you know YouTube and Instagram
.
The addiction of their short-form contents has bad influence for young students or kids.
>> The addiction to their short-form content has a bad influence on young students or kids.
For example, compared to before, when short-form content was not introduced, social networking activities have increased dramatically, and the number of young children whose sight is rapidly deteriorating is on the rise.
>> CORRECT
Second, The meaning of social networking has already been distorted for many years.
>> 
Second, the meaning of social networking has already been distorted for many years.
Very few people grow and communicate socially through social networking, but 90% of people write comments mixed with criticism and ridicule.
>> CORRECT
A case in point is the witch hunt.

>> CORRECT
In conclusion, we have to find solutions about these problems.
>> In conclusion, we have to find solutions to these problems.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
135062 I going to talk about the famous places in korea °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-28 421
135061 What exotic food would you like to try? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-02-28 447
135060 Spend six months in Canada ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-02-28 483
135059 What is the best gift you have ever given to a friend? Why was... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-28 680
135058 >> Give an example of a superstitious belief in Korea and... ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-02-28 2
135057 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-02-28 1
135056 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-02-28 2
135055 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-28 554
135054 doctors ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-28 326
135053 I heard that some schools are shutting down in Korea, what does... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-28 2
135052 What is your culture when you a neighbor just moved to your... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-28 2
135051 Talk about your lunch in school. Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-02-28 416
135050 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-02-28 476
135049 Amount of money ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-28 343
135048 Describe an activity that keeps you healthy while you enjoy. ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-02-28 2
135047 homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-02-27 322
135046 Gossip ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-02-27 1411
135045 Homework ÀÌ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-02-27 3
135044 What hobby would you like to try? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-02-27 2
135043 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-27 390

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04