¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The negative side of \"Are Social networking sites good for our society?\"

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Õ*Èñ
2024-09-10 217

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, I'm Hana, and I'd like to present my opinion on the topic, "Are Social networking sites good for our society?" . I think social networking sites is bad for our society. First, the addiction social networking is very serious and controversial problem in nowadays. I'm sure that you know Youtube and Instagram. The addiction of their short-form contents has bad influence for young students or kids. For example, compared to before, when short-form content was not introduced, social networking activities have increased dramatically, and the number of young children whose sight is rapidly deteriorating is on the rise.
Second, The meaning of social networking has already been distorted for many years. Very few people grow and communicate socially through social networking, but 90% of people write comments mixed with criticism and ridicule. A case in point is the witch hunt.
In conclusion, we have to find solutions about these problems.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Hana! Thank you for these meaningful answers. Let us discuss further in our class. See you!
--Teacher Anji



Hello, I'm Hana, and I'd like to present my opinion on the topic, "Are Social networking sites good for our society?"
>> CORRECT
I think social networking sites is bad for our society.
>>I think social networking sites are bad for our society.

First, the addiction social networking is very serious and controversial problem in nowadays.
>> First, addiction to social networking is a very serious and controversial problem nowadays.
I'm sure that you know Youtube and Instagram.
>> I'm sure that you know YouTube and Instagram
.
The addiction of their short-form contents has bad influence for young students or kids.
>> The addiction to their short-form content has a bad influence on young students or kids.
For example, compared to before, when short-form content was not introduced, social networking activities have increased dramatically, and the number of young children whose sight is rapidly deteriorating is on the rise.
>> CORRECT
Second, The meaning of social networking has already been distorted for many years.
>> 
Second, the meaning of social networking has already been distorted for many years.
Very few people grow and communicate socially through social networking, but 90% of people write comments mixed with criticism and ridicule.
>> CORRECT
A case in point is the witch hunt.

>> CORRECT
In conclusion, we have to find solutions about these problems.
>> In conclusion, we have to find solutions to these problems.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136526 If you can be a celebrity or influencer, which one do you want... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 295
136525 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 281
136524 What¡¯s the best hobby anyone could have? ÀÌ*Å ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 210
136523 2024.04.17 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 269
136522 HOMEWORK FOR 04.18.2024 WRITING TASK: What was the most... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 3
136521 HW ³ª*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 168
136520 If I leared playing basketball.. ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 278
136519 Do many young people in your country care about eating healthy? ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 271
136518 Write 5 sentences that would describe your personality. ±æ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 13
136517 In what ways do you think technology has influenced family... À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 2
136516 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 181
136515 pitiful dogs ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 209
136514 What qualities do you think make someone a good firefighter, and... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 249
136513 Fraud ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 322
136512 17.Apr.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 1
136511 What are some benefits of switching to electric cars compared to... ±è*¿í ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 236
136510 Describe a person you know who is kind ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 0
136509 homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 126
136508 If you live far away from some members of your family, how do... ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-17 200
136507 homework 04.17 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-04-17 398

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04