¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you like the most about your family?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¿µ
2024-09-10 640

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that one of good thing about my family which always give the comfortable energy.
After finishing work, I'm exhausted and tired for the stress. Then I usually called my mom, and talking to her with various things. While I communicated with her, I;m feeling better than before. So I always thanksful to my mom.
And second thing is their dedicated effort.
Once I moving new house, I'm very worried. Because I'm good at orgarnizing stuff, cleaning the house.
So, my parent and younger brother help me a lot. As a result, I'm done with my moving.
For now, I'm familiar with my new house. Without their effort, It hasn't possible to successfully it.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Gloria! 

It¡¯s so nice to see you here on the composition board! Your writing about your family is really heartfelt and shows how much you appreciate their support and effort. It¡¯s wonderful that you have such a strong connection with your mom and that talking with her helps you feel better. Your gratitude is very touching. Also, it's great to hear that your family was there to help you with the move and that you¡¯re now settling into your new home. Keep appreciating those who support you, and remember that your hard work and their efforts together make everything possible. You're doing a fantastic job! 

~Teacher Cathy 

  

I think that one of good thing about my family which always give the comfortable energy.   

>> I think one of the good things about my family is that they always provide comforting energy.   

After finishing work, I'm exhausted and tired for the stress.   

>> After finishing work, I¡¯m exhausted and stressed.   

OR>> After work, I feel tired and stressed out. 

Then I usually called my mom, and talking to her with various things.   

>> Then I usually call my mom and talk to her about various things.   

While I communicated with her, I;m feeling better than before.   

>> While I¡¯m communicating with her, I feel better than before.   

OR>> Talking with her always makes me feel better. 

So I always thanksful to my mom.   

>> So I am always thankful to my mom.   

And second thing is their dedicated effort.   

>> The second thing is their dedicated effort.   

OR>> Another important thing is their dedication. 

Once I moving new house, I'm very worried.   

>> When I was moving to a new house, I was very worried.   

OR>> During my move to a new house, I was quite worried. 

Because I'm good at orgarnizing stuff, cleaning the house.   

>> Because I am good at organizing things and cleaning the house.   

So, my parent and younger brother help me a lot.   

>> So, my parents and younger brother helped me a lot.   

As a result, I'm done with my moving.   

>> As a result, I completed my move.   

OR>> Thanks to their help, I finished moving. 

 For now, I'm familiar with my new house.   

>> Now, I am familiar with my new house.   

Without their effort, It hasn't possible to successfully it.   

>> Without their effort, it wouldn¡¯t have been possible to succeed.   

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139684 homework ¹®*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-04 0
139683 If you could plan a dream trip to any place in the world right... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-04 709
139682 What kind of facilities or features do you think should be in... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-04 683
139681 Treat sick workers ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-04 717
139680 Do you think holidays are important? Why? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-04 0
139679 The positive side of \"Is a college education worth it?\" ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 636
139678 homework ¹Ú*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 1
139677 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 744
139676 When should people avoid making promises? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 1
139675 Choose one popular fairy tale and change its ending. Explain why... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 0
139674 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 4
139673 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 597
139672 What things did you often trade when you were a child? Who did... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 1051
139671 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 716
139670 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 1
139669 Are you generally a positive person or a negative person? ¹Ú*½Ä ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 621
139668 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 1
139667 Which part of your childhood do you wish you could change? Why? ÇÑ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 636
139666 If you could design your own park, what would you put in it? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 712
139665 Homwork ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-03 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04