¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you like the most about your family?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¿µ
2024-09-10 626

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that one of good thing about my family which always give the comfortable energy.
After finishing work, I'm exhausted and tired for the stress. Then I usually called my mom, and talking to her with various things. While I communicated with her, I;m feeling better than before. So I always thanksful to my mom.
And second thing is their dedicated effort.
Once I moving new house, I'm very worried. Because I'm good at orgarnizing stuff, cleaning the house.
So, my parent and younger brother help me a lot. As a result, I'm done with my moving.
For now, I'm familiar with my new house. Without their effort, It hasn't possible to successfully it.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Gloria! 

It¡¯s so nice to see you here on the composition board! Your writing about your family is really heartfelt and shows how much you appreciate their support and effort. It¡¯s wonderful that you have such a strong connection with your mom and that talking with her helps you feel better. Your gratitude is very touching. Also, it's great to hear that your family was there to help you with the move and that you¡¯re now settling into your new home. Keep appreciating those who support you, and remember that your hard work and their efforts together make everything possible. You're doing a fantastic job! 

~Teacher Cathy 

  

I think that one of good thing about my family which always give the comfortable energy.   

>> I think one of the good things about my family is that they always provide comforting energy.   

After finishing work, I'm exhausted and tired for the stress.   

>> After finishing work, I¡¯m exhausted and stressed.   

OR>> After work, I feel tired and stressed out. 

Then I usually called my mom, and talking to her with various things.   

>> Then I usually call my mom and talk to her about various things.   

While I communicated with her, I;m feeling better than before.   

>> While I¡¯m communicating with her, I feel better than before.   

OR>> Talking with her always makes me feel better. 

So I always thanksful to my mom.   

>> So I am always thankful to my mom.   

And second thing is their dedicated effort.   

>> The second thing is their dedicated effort.   

OR>> Another important thing is their dedication. 

Once I moving new house, I'm very worried.   

>> When I was moving to a new house, I was very worried.   

OR>> During my move to a new house, I was quite worried. 

Because I'm good at orgarnizing stuff, cleaning the house.   

>> Because I am good at organizing things and cleaning the house.   

So, my parent and younger brother help me a lot.   

>> So, my parents and younger brother helped me a lot.   

As a result, I'm done with my moving.   

>> As a result, I completed my move.   

OR>> Thanks to their help, I finished moving. 

 For now, I'm familiar with my new house.   

>> Now, I am familiar with my new house.   

Without their effort, It hasn't possible to successfully it.   

>> Without their effort, it wouldn¡¯t have been possible to succeed.   

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139881 9/12(Thu) homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 695
139880 Why is it important to obey your parents? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 614
139879 Summer or winter vacation ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 417
139878 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 8
139877 Do you think you chose the right career path? Why or why not? ÇÑ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 937
139876 Are there any hobbies that you think are not worthwhile? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 4
139875 mine ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 1
139874 Do you think holidays are important? Why? Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 914
139873 HOMEWORK FOR 09.11.2024 WRITING TASK: How can you handle a... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 4
139872 neighbor ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 1
139871 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 1
139870 HOMEWORK FOR 09/11 Writing Task ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 4
139869 Homework ³ë*ö ÁøÇàÁß 2024-09-12 697
139868 What¡¯s something interesting or unique about drinking culture... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 709
139867 Homework : How often do you clean your room? What do you usually... ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 983
139866 What chores are your responsibility? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-11 0
139865 Do you think you can teach someone to be successful? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-11 755
139864 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-11 1
139863 home work ½Å*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-09-11 927
139862 I like the conversation with the new person. ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-09-11 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04