¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you like the most about your family?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¿µ
2024-09-10 642

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that one of good thing about my family which always give the comfortable energy.
After finishing work, I'm exhausted and tired for the stress. Then I usually called my mom, and talking to her with various things. While I communicated with her, I;m feeling better than before. So I always thanksful to my mom.
And second thing is their dedicated effort.
Once I moving new house, I'm very worried. Because I'm good at orgarnizing stuff, cleaning the house.
So, my parent and younger brother help me a lot. As a result, I'm done with my moving.
For now, I'm familiar with my new house. Without their effort, It hasn't possible to successfully it.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Gloria! 

It¡¯s so nice to see you here on the composition board! Your writing about your family is really heartfelt and shows how much you appreciate their support and effort. It¡¯s wonderful that you have such a strong connection with your mom and that talking with her helps you feel better. Your gratitude is very touching. Also, it's great to hear that your family was there to help you with the move and that you¡¯re now settling into your new home. Keep appreciating those who support you, and remember that your hard work and their efforts together make everything possible. You're doing a fantastic job! 

~Teacher Cathy 

  

I think that one of good thing about my family which always give the comfortable energy.   

>> I think one of the good things about my family is that they always provide comforting energy.   

After finishing work, I'm exhausted and tired for the stress.   

>> After finishing work, I¡¯m exhausted and stressed.   

OR>> After work, I feel tired and stressed out. 

Then I usually called my mom, and talking to her with various things.   

>> Then I usually call my mom and talk to her about various things.   

While I communicated with her, I;m feeling better than before.   

>> While I¡¯m communicating with her, I feel better than before.   

OR>> Talking with her always makes me feel better. 

So I always thanksful to my mom.   

>> So I am always thankful to my mom.   

And second thing is their dedicated effort.   

>> The second thing is their dedicated effort.   

OR>> Another important thing is their dedication. 

Once I moving new house, I'm very worried.   

>> When I was moving to a new house, I was very worried.   

OR>> During my move to a new house, I was quite worried. 

Because I'm good at orgarnizing stuff, cleaning the house.   

>> Because I am good at organizing things and cleaning the house.   

So, my parent and younger brother help me a lot.   

>> So, my parents and younger brother helped me a lot.   

As a result, I'm done with my moving.   

>> As a result, I completed my move.   

OR>> Thanks to their help, I finished moving. 

 For now, I'm familiar with my new house.   

>> Now, I am familiar with my new house.   

Without their effort, It hasn't possible to successfully it.   

>> Without their effort, it wouldn¡¯t have been possible to succeed.   

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140024 Do you believe opportunities are created or discovered? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 569
140023 Decisions made under pressure are often poor decisions.\' Do you... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 592
140022 What¡¯s the best hobby anyone could have? ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 617
140021 Homework ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 573
140020 Would you care to reveal your ultimate dream vacation... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 623
140019 How much time do you usually spend on your hobbies? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 4
140018 How do you feel when you say \"yes\" to something you don\'t... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-24 0
140017 Well-paid and high revered profession ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-23 640
140016 How does proper rest impact productivity and focus? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-23 561
140015 The phone number ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-23 421
140014 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-23 670
140013 What do you think is the easiest thing about learning English? ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-09-23 947
140012 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-23 892
140011 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-23 781
140010 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-23 593
140009 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-09-23 522
140008 How do you feel when you say \"yes\" to something you don\'t... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-23 3
140007 What activities do you like to do in autumn? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-09-23 515
140006 What do you need right now? Why? ÃÖ*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-23 511
140005 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-23 554

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04