¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you like the most about your family?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¿µ
2024-09-10 836

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that one of good thing about my family which always give the comfortable energy.
After finishing work, I'm exhausted and tired for the stress. Then I usually called my mom, and talking to her with various things. While I communicated with her, I;m feeling better than before. So I always thanksful to my mom.
And second thing is their dedicated effort.
Once I moving new house, I'm very worried. Because I'm good at orgarnizing stuff, cleaning the house.
So, my parent and younger brother help me a lot. As a result, I'm done with my moving.
For now, I'm familiar with my new house. Without their effort, It hasn't possible to successfully it.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Gloria! 

It¡¯s so nice to see you here on the composition board! Your writing about your family is really heartfelt and shows how much you appreciate their support and effort. It¡¯s wonderful that you have such a strong connection with your mom and that talking with her helps you feel better. Your gratitude is very touching. Also, it's great to hear that your family was there to help you with the move and that you¡¯re now settling into your new home. Keep appreciating those who support you, and remember that your hard work and their efforts together make everything possible. You're doing a fantastic job! 

~Teacher Cathy 

  

I think that one of good thing about my family which always give the comfortable energy.   

>> I think one of the good things about my family is that they always provide comforting energy.   

After finishing work, I'm exhausted and tired for the stress.   

>> After finishing work, I¡¯m exhausted and stressed.   

OR>> After work, I feel tired and stressed out. 

Then I usually called my mom, and talking to her with various things.   

>> Then I usually call my mom and talk to her about various things.   

While I communicated with her, I;m feeling better than before.   

>> While I¡¯m communicating with her, I feel better than before.   

OR>> Talking with her always makes me feel better. 

So I always thanksful to my mom.   

>> So I am always thankful to my mom.   

And second thing is their dedicated effort.   

>> The second thing is their dedicated effort.   

OR>> Another important thing is their dedication. 

Once I moving new house, I'm very worried.   

>> When I was moving to a new house, I was very worried.   

OR>> During my move to a new house, I was quite worried. 

Because I'm good at orgarnizing stuff, cleaning the house.   

>> Because I am good at organizing things and cleaning the house.   

So, my parent and younger brother help me a lot.   

>> So, my parents and younger brother helped me a lot.   

As a result, I'm done with my moving.   

>> As a result, I completed my move.   

OR>> Thanks to their help, I finished moving. 

 For now, I'm familiar with my new house.   

>> Now, I am familiar with my new house.   

Without their effort, It hasn't possible to successfully it.   

>> Without their effort, it wouldn¡¯t have been possible to succeed.   

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137965 Uniforms may have a detrimental effect on students¡¯ self-image ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-06-20 771
137964 Traffic rules ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-20 1678
137963 Do you enjoy meeting new people? Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-20 763
137962 How do you reject something in a polite way? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-06-20 684
137961 Why do you think parasailing is exciting? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-20 744
137960 HOMEWORK Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-20 737
137959 Fix the relationship with my friend ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-20 735
137958 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-20 971
137957 What kind of people do you like to meet? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-20 789
137956 Why is it simpler to be nervous than confident in most... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-06-20 714
137955 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-20 0
137954 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 7
137953 Can sadness be useful in people¡¯s lives? Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 2
137952 TV ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 728
137951 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 696
137950 Bad habits ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 1026
137949 homework ±è*º° ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 1
137948 Does talking about a sad experience help make the person feel... ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 2
137947 homework 11 ¼Û*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 974
137946 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04