¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do children have to ask permission from their parents when they go out? Explain.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Çõ
2024-09-05 128

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Yes, children have to ask permission from their parents because if they don't have to ask permission from their parents, it is dangerous.
All parents have to know where and who their child do.
I always ask permission from my parents when I have promise with my friends.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë


Here's your edited essay, Jimmy. I appreciate your sending it. Please go over the revisions given below. Have a good evening there!  


Cheers,
Jean~~




                                         Do children have to ask permission from their parents when they go out? Explain.


Yes, children have to ask permission from their parents because if they don't have to ask permission from their parents, it is dangerous.
>> Yes, children have to ask permission from their parents because if they don't, it is dangerous.

All parents have to know where and who their child do.
>> All parents have to know where their children are and who they're with. 

I always ask permission from my parents when I have promise with my friends.
>> I always ask permission from my parents when I have appointments with my friends.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138237 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-02 1
138236 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-02 1
138235 What are the best ways to avoid getting sick? Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-07-02 249
138234 The illusion of graduation ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-02 239
138233 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-02 4
138232 washing one\'s face ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-07-02 338
138231 Homework À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-02 3
138230 If you could create a new toy, what would it be and why? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-02 275
138229 What is the best thing about the month of July? Write at least... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-02 289
138228 2024.07.01 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-07-02 193
138227 What is your favorite sandwich? What kinds of bread from other... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-07-02 305
138226 Do you usually try free samples at grocery stores? Why or why... ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-07-02 392
138225 Q) Can working out make people happy? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-02 1
138224 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-02 11
138223 HOMEWORK FOR 07.02.2024 WRITING TASK: What is the most famous... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-02 3
138222 HOMEWORK ÁÖ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-07-02 250
138221 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-02 345
138220 The thing that I regret ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-02 12
138219 What are the best ways to avoid getting sick? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-02 254
138218 Is mental health more important than physical health? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-02 254

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04