¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do children have to ask permission from their parents when they go out? Explain.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Çõ
2024-09-05 250

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Yes, children have to ask permission from their parents because if they don't have to ask permission from their parents, it is dangerous.
All parents have to know where and who their child do.
I always ask permission from my parents when I have promise with my friends.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë


Here's your edited essay, Jimmy. I appreciate your sending it. Please go over the revisions given below. Have a good evening there!  


Cheers,
Jean~~




                                         Do children have to ask permission from their parents when they go out? Explain.


Yes, children have to ask permission from their parents because if they don't have to ask permission from their parents, it is dangerous.
>> Yes, children have to ask permission from their parents because if they don't, it is dangerous.

All parents have to know where and who their child do.
>> All parents have to know where their children are and who they're with. 

I always ask permission from my parents when I have promise with my friends.
>> I always ask permission from my parents when I have appointments with my friends.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136246 HW ³ª*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-09 249
136245 homework ¹Ú*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-04-09 311
136244 Most vices are bad but not illegal. What activities should be... ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-09 167
136243 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-09 311
136242 What do you dislike more, a loud neighbor or a nosy neighbor? õ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-09 179
136241 It is better to stay home on your day off or go somewhere? À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-09 3
136240 What do you mostly look forward to when you enter a company? Why? ¼Û*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-09 196
136239 How can clothes help us express our culture and identity? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-09 213
136238 My parent\'s advice ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-09 220
136237 What makes a bad cafe? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-09 1
136236 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-09 191
136235 How important is it to encourage children to take up hobbies? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-04-09 0
136234 About long average working hour Á¤*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-09 262
136233 HOMEWORK: Why do people need to learn English as a second... ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-09 157
136232 homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-09 287
136231 HOMEWORK: Describe your favorite person. ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-09 196
136230 Do you think having siblings or being an only child is better?... ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-09 270
136229 HOMEWORK: What is the best thing to do in Spring Season? ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 208
136228 homework À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 247
136227 Describe the beautiful flowers you see in spring. ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-08 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04