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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What kind of facilities or features do you think should be in every park ?

작성자: 박*호
2024-09-04 749

회원님의 영작문

Koreans consider the role of parks as a resting place for people living in the city very important.
In Korea, many new cities are being built to meet the rapidly increasing demand for housing.
In Korea, when building a new city, it must have three things:
These are houses where people can live comfortably, workplaces where people can work, and rest areas where people can relax.
There are many types of rest areas, the representative one of which is a park.
In Korea, parks with lakes where people can play in the water or walk around are popular.
Koreans call such parks lake parks.
I believe that parks should have facilities where people can relax and enjoy leisure.
Parks should have large lawns, lush forests, and benches and shade canopies.
Additionally, there must be various sports facilities such as a swimming pool and tennis court, and the walking trails must be well maintained.
And it would be nice if the park had a nice kiosk where people could buy drinks or snacks.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good morining, Sun! 

Parks may consist of grassy areas, rocks, soil and trees, but may also contain buildings and other artifacts such as monuments, fountains or playground structures. Many parks have fields for playing sports such as baseball and football, and paved areas for games such as basketball.

- Kristine ^^ 

Koreans consider the role of parks as a resting place for people living in the city very important.
>> Koreans place a high value on parks offering for urban residents' places to relax.
In Korea, many new cities are being built to meet the rapidly increasing demand for housing.
>> Korea is constructing a lot of new cities to accommodate the nation's rapidly rising housing demand.
In Korea, when building a new city, it must have three things:
>> When building a new city in Korea, it needs to have three things.
These are houses where people can live comfortably, workplaces where people can work, and rest areas where people can relax.
>> These are places for work, for relaxation, and comfortable homes for people to live.
There are many types of rest areas, the representative one of which is a park.
>> A park is a typical example of one of the many different kinds of resting areas.
In Korea, parks with lakes where people can play in the water or walk around are popular.
>> Parks with lakes where people can stroll around or play in the water are very common in Korea.
Koreans call such parks lake parks.
>> These parks are known as lake parks in Korea.
I believe that parks should have facilities where people can relax and enjoy leisure.
>> I believe parks should include amenities for people to unwind and enjoy themselves.
Parks should have large lawns, lush forests, and benches and shade canopies.
>> Parks should feature wide lawns, lush plants, benches, and canopies for shade.
Additionally, there must be various sports facilities such as a swimming pool and tennis court, and the walking trails must be well maintained.
>> A tennis court, swimming pool, and other recreational facilities are also necessary and the walking pathways need to be cleaned up.
And it would be nice if the park had a nice kiosk where people could buy drinks or snacks.
>> Furthermore, it would be lovely if there's kiosk in the park where people can purchase snacks or drinks.
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