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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Homework

작성자: 김*우
2024-09-02 223

회원님의 영작문

Hi.
How was your day?
Since today was the first work day of this month, I expected a good start about the revenue.
And my hope came true indeed.
After letting MJ, today is the best day when it comes to the profit.
In fact, the profit this morning was really good, however, that was all, nevertheless, the overall profit was satisfying.
I can expect more revenue upcoming days because of today’s good flow.
One doctor who joined the lifting academy with me in the past texted me after a long time.
He asked me about the applicant who wants to join his clinic because she worked in my clinic before.
I replied it honestly.
At least, when she worked with me, she was so so; she was good at some workfields, but not everything.
After the conversation about her, we talked about each situation of own clinic.
He had a hard time like me when it comes to the revenue.
As for the promo strategy, I’ve never experienced the outstanding result.
That’s because of the countless discount programs in other clinic

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello, Dr. Kim!

My day was very manageable. It rained the whole time and the typhoon is here. Thus, I decided to check your composition while the electricity is still up and running. 

Congratulations for a remarkable revenue! You did it! This time, minus Dr. MJ. Thanks to your hardworking and dedicated staff and of course your two energetic and excellent doctors, they made the profit possible today. Most of all, these are all unattainable without your genius. So, cheers to you!

Days will just get better and better from now on. So, prepare yourselves for more procedures than treatments.

It is interesting how some of your staff would end up working for doctors who are also your friends. Honestly is the best policy so telling about their capabilities when they served you is a solid basis of how they will perform for the next clinic. I am sure that your friend appreciates your information.

I understand that all of the clinics in your city are having simultaneous promotions similar with each other. It matters that your service is memorable and effective. 

Try to note down the grammar patterns suggested to your sentences below.  As days go by, you have more and more very good sentences. Keep up the excellent work always.

See you!

-T. Donna~

Hi.
>> Correct!

How was your day?
>> Correct!

Since today was the first work day of this month, I expected a good start about the revenue.
>> Correct!

And my hope came true indeed.
>> Correct!

After letting MJ, today is the best day when it comes to the profit.
>> After letting go of MJ, today is the best day when it comes to the profit.

In fact, the profit this morning was really good, however, that was all, nevertheless, the overall profit was satisfying.
>> Correct! Very good sentence!

I can expect more revenue upcoming days because of today’s good flow.
>> I can expect more revenue for the upcoming days because of today’s good flow.

One doctor who joined the lifting academy with me in the past texted me after a long time.
>> Correct!

He asked me about the applicant who wants to join his clinic because she worked in my clinic before.
>> Correct!

I replied it honestly.
>> I replied honestly.

At least, when she worked with me, she was so so; she was good at some workfields, but not everything.
>> Correct! Very good sentence!

After the conversation about her, we talked about each situation of own clinic.
>> After the conversation about her, we talked about each other's situation of our own clinics.

He had a hard time like me when it comes to the revenue.
>> Correct!

As for the promo strategy, I’ve never experienced the outstanding result.
>> Correct!
Or: As for the promo strategy, I’ve never experienced an outstanding result.

That’s because of the countless discount programs in other clinic
>>  That’s because of the countless discount programs in other clinics.
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첨삭이 가능하며,

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04

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