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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What was your memorable birthday?

작성자: 이*윤
2024-08-30 696

회원님의 영작문

My memorable birthday was an experience of being celebrated unexpectedly.
It happened when I was in elementary school and high school student.
When I was in elementary school student, my mother invited my classmates to a birthday party without my knowledge, and when I was in high school, my friends secretly decorated the empty classroom and gave me my favorite things as gifts instead of chocolate pie.
I was so happy at that time that I cried like a child in front of my friends. HAHAHA. :)
My personal wish is that next year's birthday will be memorable.
I hope I can get a job through an interview this year, and as an office worker working next year, I hope my family and friends celebrate my birthday.
I hope my wish comes true.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Happy Birthday, Yun!!!
It's nice to be celebrated by your loved ones, especially when they make an effort to surprise you on your special day. I used to surprise other people on their special days, but I have to admit that I have never experienced the same level of thoughtfulness. For this reason, I want to meet someone who is just like me, hahaha kidding~ but on your birthday, I hope you become more self-assured in whatever you do, acquire more skills and understanding, and develop a strong will and optimistic outlook to handle any challenges life presents. Have a blast on your birthday ^__________^
Chammy
My memorable birthday was an experience of being celebrated unexpectedly.
>>Correct
It happened when I was in elementary school and high school student.
>> It happened when I was in elementary school as well as in high school.
When I was in elementary school student, my mother invited my classmates to a birthday party without my knowledge, and when I was in high school, my friends secretly decorated the empty classroom and gave me my favorite things as gifts instead of chocolate pie.
> When I was an elementary school student, my mother invited my classmates to my birthday party without my knowledge, and when I was in high school, my friends secretly decorated the empty classroom and gave me my favorite things as gifts instead of chocolate pie.
I was so happy at that time that I cried like a child in front of my friends. HAHAHA. :)
>>Correct
My personal wish is that next year's birthday will be memorable.
OR
>> I wish my next birthday will be more memorable.
I hope I can get a job through an interview this year, and as an office worker working next year, I hope my family and friends celebrate my birthday.
I hope my wish comes true.
OR
>> This year, I wish to secure a job after an interview. Next year, I hope to work at an office and have my birthday celebrated by my loved ones.
I hope my wish is fulfilled.
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