무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Q) Are you looking forward to your retirement?

작성자: 최*영
2024-08-30 181

회원님의 영작문

No. I am not. To be honesty, I am worried about living after retirement. It is a well-known fact that Korea have experienced an unprecedented low birth rate. It means that there will be insufficient workers in the near future. Considering the national pension system which is the economic term “pay-as-you-go”, governments usually collect money from the current workers, and then distribute it to pensioners. Therefore, fewer young generation results in fewer workers, leading to high uncertainty of my pension after retirement. Moreover, I am worried about social circle after retirement since I am still single. I prefer to get married to a man who is compatible with me, but nobody knows it would be possible or not. If I were getting older alone, I must feel isolated and alienated. In conclusion, I am quite pessimistic about life after quitting a job when it comes to financial stability and emotional stability.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Ms. Mika! I understand your concerns about retirement, especially given Korea's low birth rate and the challenges with the national pension system. It’s natural to worry about financial and emotional stability.
~T. Jenna

No. I am not.  To be honesty, I am worried about living after retirement. 
>>No, I am not. To be honest, I am worried about life after retirement.
It is a well-known fact that Korea have experienced an unprecedented low birth rate. 
>>It is a well-known fact that Korea has experienced an unprecedented low birth rate.
It means that there will be insufficient workers in the near future. 
Correct, or
>>This suggests that we could face a dwindling workforce in the near future.
Considering the national pension system which is the economic term “pay-as-you-go”, governments usually collect money from the current workers, and then distribute it to pensioners. 
Correct, or
>>Given the national pension system, which functions under the 'pay-as-you-go' economic model or principle, governments generally collect contributions from the current workforce and subsequently allocate these funds to pensioners.
Therefore, fewer young generation results in fewer workers, leading to high uncertainty of my pension after retirement. 
Correct, or
>>Therefore, a shrinking younger generation results in a reduced workforce, creating considerable uncertainty regarding the stability of my pension post-retirement.
Moreover, I am worried about social circle after retirement since I am still single. 
Correct, or
>>Furthermore, I am apprehensive about my social network after retirement, particularly given my current single status.
I prefer to get married to a man who is compatible with me, but nobody knows it would be possible or not. 
>>I prefer to marry a man who is compatible with me, but nobody knows whether it will be possible or not.
OR
>>I’d like to marry someone who’s a good match for me, but it’s uncertain whether that will actually happen.
If I were getting older alone, I must feel isolated and alienated. 
Correct, or
>>If I were to age alone, I would likely feel solitary and estranged.
In conclusion, I am quite pessimistic about life after quitting a job when it comes to financial stability and emotional stability.
Correct, or
>>In conclusion, I’m quite downbeat about life after quitting a job, especially when it comes to financial and emotional stability.

번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
137389 What songs or music would you like to fall asleep to? 박*은 완료 2024-05-23 250
137388 What do you think of rainforests? 차*혁 완료 2024-05-23 229
137387 Homework 홍*선 완료 2024-05-23 0
137386 What do you think is the worst month among the old Korean... 차*혁 완료 2024-05-23 629
137385 Where do you think is the most dangerous place to go on a trip?... 차*진 완료 2024-05-23 240
137384 Do you shop online? Do you like it? Why? 차*진 완료 2024-05-23 196
137383 Choose one: Moon or Sun and why? 최*성 완료 2024-05-23 251
137382 make me stay 민*정 완료 2024-05-23 1
137381 Have you ever visited anyone at the hospital? Write about it. 오*혁 완료 2024-05-23 0
137380 Homework 김*우 완료 2024-05-23 1
137379 HW 양*윤 완료 2024-05-23 425
137378 benefits of the transport. 최*환 완료 2024-05-23 233
137377 Homework 류*우 완료 2024-05-23 218
137376 Homework 이*범 완료 2024-05-23 206
137375 2024.05.22 남*례 완료 2024-05-23 200
137374 hw 김*현 완료 2024-05-23 0
137373 homework 이*수 완료 2024-05-23 419
137372 HOMEWORK FOR 05.23.2024 WRITING TASK: Is it hard to apologize?... 임*지 완료 2024-05-23 8
137371 How can introverts improve their social skills ? 박*호 완료 2024-05-23 216
137370 Do you think that there is a relation between global warming and... 황*은 완료 2024-05-23 263

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]