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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Do you think children need to learn patience? How can parents or teachers help them develop this qua

작성자: 박*호
2024-08-28 159

회원님의 영작문

I think children need to learn patience.
In Korea, parents only have one or two children, so they tend to raise their children too spoiled.
So parents do not scold their children even if they make noise or cause trouble in restaurants or public places.
So, it is a social problem that children have too few manners.
i think that children learn by watching adults. If parents and teachers show patience, children will likely copy that behavior.
And parents need to give children small tasks where they need to wait. For example, wait a few minutes before eating or taking turns in a game. This helps them practice being patient.
And when children show patience, praise them. This encourages them to keep trying to be patient.
But I also think that children need to grow up innocently.
So, I think we should refrain from strongly educating children to learn patience from an early age.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Happy Hump Day, Sun! 

Thank you for your insughtful thought! Patience is an important life skill that helps children learn to cope with stress, regulate emotions, and handle challenging situations. 

- Kristine ^^ 

I think children need to learn patience.
>> Correct. 
Or >> I believe that children should be taught patience.
In Korea, parents only have one or two children, so they tend to raise their children too spoiled.
>> Since most Korean parents only have one or two children, they tend to raise their children in an overly indulgent manner.
So parents do not scold their children even if they make noise or cause trouble in restaurants or public places.
>> Thus, even if their children misbehave or create noise in restaurants or other public areas, parents don't discipline them.
So, it is a social problem that children have too few manners.
>> Therefore, the lack of manners among children is a social problem now. 
i think that children learn by watching adults. 
>> I suppose children learn up knowledge from watching adults.
If parents and teachers show patience, children will likely copy that behavior.
>> Children are likely to imitate the patience of their parents and teachers.
And parents need to give children small tasks where they need to wait. 
>> Additionally, parents should give their children small tasks to do while they wait.
For example, wait a few minutes before eating or taking turns in a game. 
>> Correct. 
This helps them practice being patient.
>> Correct. 
And when children show patience, praise them. 
>> Additionally, give children praise for their patience.
This encourages them to keep trying to be patient.
>> Correct. 
But I also think that children need to grow up innocently.
>> However, I also believe that children should have a carefree childhood.
So, I think we should refrain from strongly educating children to learn patience from an early age.
>> Therefore, I believe that we shouldn't push children to develop patience at a young age.
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