¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you have a hobby that you enjoy under the sun?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Èñ
2024-08-26 954

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't like to stay under the sun. If to stay under the sun, the skin to get a sunburn. When I go outside, I always apply the sunblock at the face and body, wear a hat or use a sun shade. UVrays make skin disease, also make skin wrinkle. UVrays make blemish, skin burn and skin cancer. I am afraid to stay under the sun. So l don't enjoy activity under the sun.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Eva,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on sun exposure. It¡¯s good that you take excellent care of your health by protecting your skin from the harmful effects of UV rays. Your attention to detail, like always applying sunblock and using sun protection, shows how much you value your well-being. You¡¯ve done a great job expressing your thoughts clearly and thoughtfully. Your writing really reflects your careful and caring nature, which is wonderful to see. Keep up the great work, you¡¯re doing an amazing job!

~Teacher Cathy

 

I don't like to stay under the sun.

>>CORRECT

OR>>I don't like staying under the sun.

If to stay under the sun, the skin to get a sunburn.

>>If I stay under the sun, I'll get sunburned.

When I go outside, I always apply the sunblock at the face and body, wear a hat or use a sun shade.

>>When I go outside, I always apply sunscreen to my face and body, and I wear a hat or use a sunshade.

UVrays make skin disease, also make skin wrinkle.

>>UV rays are the cause of some skin diseases, and it also makes the skin wrinkled.

UVrays make blemish, skin burn and skin cancer. I am afraid to stay under the sun.

>>UV rays cause blemishes, sunburn, and skin cancer. I'm afraid of staying under the sun.

So l don't enjoy activity under the sun.

>>So, I don't enjoy doing activities under the sun.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140158 Should holidays be spread evenly throughout the year, or is it... Àå*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 427
140157 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 0
140156 Sep 27th homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 776
140155 What are the advantages and disadvantages of solo travel? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 495
140154 What part of your day do you like best? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 1
140153 What are the benefits of having hobbies? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 1
140152 Q)What are the advantages of working for a small company? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 1
140151 What are some annoying things that your friends do? How do you... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 577
140150 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 584
140149 How would the world look if everyone had the same talents? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 823
140148 enjoy change or not_2 ¾î*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 1
140147 enjoy change or not ¾î*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 2
140146 The difference of \'borrow\' and \'lend\' ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 411
140145 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 811
140144 What are some ways you think we can be kind to ourselves? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 568
140143 keep up with ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 2
140142 My research about breast cancer in men. Â÷*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 519
140141 What are the disadvantages of sightseeing? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 1
140140 retirement ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 693
140139 In what cases does the expulsion of students happen in your... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-30 480

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04