¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you have a hobby that you enjoy under the sun?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Èñ
2024-08-26 994

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't like to stay under the sun. If to stay under the sun, the skin to get a sunburn. When I go outside, I always apply the sunblock at the face and body, wear a hat or use a sun shade. UVrays make skin disease, also make skin wrinkle. UVrays make blemish, skin burn and skin cancer. I am afraid to stay under the sun. So l don't enjoy activity under the sun.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Eva,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on sun exposure. It¡¯s good that you take excellent care of your health by protecting your skin from the harmful effects of UV rays. Your attention to detail, like always applying sunblock and using sun protection, shows how much you value your well-being. You¡¯ve done a great job expressing your thoughts clearly and thoughtfully. Your writing really reflects your careful and caring nature, which is wonderful to see. Keep up the great work, you¡¯re doing an amazing job!

~Teacher Cathy

 

I don't like to stay under the sun.

>>CORRECT

OR>>I don't like staying under the sun.

If to stay under the sun, the skin to get a sunburn.

>>If I stay under the sun, I'll get sunburned.

When I go outside, I always apply the sunblock at the face and body, wear a hat or use a sun shade.

>>When I go outside, I always apply sunscreen to my face and body, and I wear a hat or use a sunshade.

UVrays make skin disease, also make skin wrinkle.

>>UV rays are the cause of some skin diseases, and it also makes the skin wrinkled.

UVrays make blemish, skin burn and skin cancer. I am afraid to stay under the sun.

>>UV rays cause blemishes, sunburn, and skin cancer. I'm afraid of staying under the sun.

So l don't enjoy activity under the sun.

>>So, I don't enjoy doing activities under the sun.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140549 What might happen if you don¡¯t use any phones in a day, week,... ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-10-22 498
140548 What appliance do you wish you had in your home that you don¡¯t... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-22 484
140547 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 463
140546 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 2
140545 The last time I was proud ÃÖ*Âù ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 506
140544 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 1
140543 How can we show everyone is equal? ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 482
140542 21oct2024- homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 492
140541 What were some of the rules you had to follow at your high... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 5
140540 I don\'t want to see things on social media that you don\'t like. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 522
140539 I don\'t make much effort. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 465
140538 What strategies do you use to build your self-confidence? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 441
140537 How would the world change if you could instantly understand any... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 478
140536 What would change if money didn¡¯t exist but people still had to... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 474
140535 Can you think of a time when doing nothing was the best action? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 500
140534 Should kids have more of a say in decisions made by their... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 512
140533 What do you do to maintain or improve your mental health? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 510
140532 Homework ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 508
140531 Why do you think many people smoke? Àå*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 492
140530 Too many students earning degrees have diluted the value of a... ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-10-21 488

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04