¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you have a hobby that you enjoy under the sun?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Èñ
2024-08-26 2153

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't like to stay under the sun. If to stay under the sun, the skin to get a sunburn. When I go outside, I always apply the sunblock at the face and body, wear a hat or use a sun shade. UVrays make skin disease, also make skin wrinkle. UVrays make blemish, skin burn and skin cancer. I am afraid to stay under the sun. So l don't enjoy activity under the sun.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Eva,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on sun exposure. It¡¯s good that you take excellent care of your health by protecting your skin from the harmful effects of UV rays. Your attention to detail, like always applying sunblock and using sun protection, shows how much you value your well-being. You¡¯ve done a great job expressing your thoughts clearly and thoughtfully. Your writing really reflects your careful and caring nature, which is wonderful to see. Keep up the great work, you¡¯re doing an amazing job!

~Teacher Cathy

 

I don't like to stay under the sun.

>>CORRECT

OR>>I don't like staying under the sun.

If to stay under the sun, the skin to get a sunburn.

>>If I stay under the sun, I'll get sunburned.

When I go outside, I always apply the sunblock at the face and body, wear a hat or use a sun shade.

>>When I go outside, I always apply sunscreen to my face and body, and I wear a hat or use a sunshade.

UVrays make skin disease, also make skin wrinkle.

>>UV rays are the cause of some skin diseases, and it also makes the skin wrinkled.

UVrays make blemish, skin burn and skin cancer. I am afraid to stay under the sun.

>>UV rays cause blemishes, sunburn, and skin cancer. I'm afraid of staying under the sun.

So l don't enjoy activity under the sun.

>>So, I don't enjoy doing activities under the sun.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139390 make time ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 0
139389 What new hobbies would you like to try doing in the future? ÀÓ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 1649
139388 What do you think is the best sport in the world? Explain your... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 1415
139387 What\'s your thought on Korean man seving in the military? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 1765
139386 FSC vs LCC ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 9
139385 \"What did you learn in your major?\" ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 11
139384 2024.08.21 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 1666
139383 do you know Ramadan? ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 11
139382 \"What role did you play in the film production?\" ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 7
139381 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 1627
139380 Writing task: Can a person enjoy tranquility at their workplace?... ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 1713
139379 What¡¯s your favorite weather? Why do you like that weather? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 1701
139378 Does reading a lot help a person become a good writer? ±è*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 1797
139377 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 2014
139376 Essay:Although parents are responsible for raising a child,... do*eun ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 2036
139375 8/22 writing task ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 2
139374 What kind of people do you like best? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 0
139373 Writing task: What is the color of your bedroom? Why did you... ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 2228
139372 Homework1 À§*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 6
139371 The best leaders ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-22 1903

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04