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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

A Recent Experience of Apology

작성자: 김*민
2024-08-26 807

회원님의 영작문

I told you my last apology at the class. I want to tell you full story.

One day, my team members discussed how to work efficiently.
One of my colleague insisted that we need to reduce the process of work cooperating with other departments.
But others insisted that cooperation with other departments is too hard, because not all team members are cooperative with our team.
Each other's voices increased at that time, and I couldn't concentrate on my task.

So I said that "Why did you make a loud voice? I think we can work in our own way!", with temperamental voice.
Then our office became silent at that moment.

After calming myself down, I started to feel ashamed to speak temperamentally in the office.
And then I wanted to apologize to my colleague who would have felt bad in that situation.
So I apologized for hurting her feelings, and fortunately, my colleague accepted my apology.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello there, Min!

Thank you for elaborating the story about why you apologized in your office. I believe that you have nothing to be sorry or apologize about as you were in the right thinking at the time. However, you are correct to apologize since you may have hurt a colleagues ego or feelings by shutting down her sentiments.

Sometimes, the loudest point is the calmest voice. There are so many people screaming for their points of view but people do not want to listen to them. Since we have all been civilized by education and culture, we know that there is no problem better solved by a democratic and an orderly way of dialogue especially in the professional world. I admire your calmness and leadership that moment.

Congratulations to a very clear and organized composition! As you can see, there were so many correct sentences. Continue writing to express your ideas using precise adjectives and verbs. Excellent composition!

See you in class.

-T. Donna~
 
I told you my last apology at the class. I want to tell you full story.
>> I told you my last apology in class. I want to tell you the full story.

One day, my team members discussed how to work efficiently.
>> Correct!

One of my colleague insisted that we need to reduce the process of work cooperating with other departments.
>> Correct!

But others insisted that cooperation with other departments is too hard, because not all team members are cooperative with our team.
>> Correct!

Each other's voices increased at that time, and I couldn't concentrate on my task.
>> Correct!
Or: Each other's voices were loud at that time, and I couldn't concentrate on my task.

So I said that "Why did you make a loud voice? I think we can work in our own way!", with temperamental voice.
>> So I said, "Why did you make your voice loud? I think we can work in our own way," with a temperamental voice.

Then our office became silent at that moment.
>> Correct!

After calming myself down, I started to feel ashamed to speak temperamentally in the office.
>> Correct!

And then I wanted to apologize to my colleague who would have felt bad in that situation.
>> Correct! Very good sentence!

So I apologized for hurting her feelings, and fortunately, my colleague accepted my apology.
>> Correct!
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
139834 H/W 오*영 완료 2024-09-10 732
139833 What do you like to do with your friends? 최*현 완료 2024-09-10 1
139832 home work 신*린 완료 2024-09-10 764
139831 Home work 신*라 완료 2024-09-10 800
139830 What’s the secret to taking a good photograph? 박*은 완료 2024-09-10 805
139829 Homework 김*숙 완료 2024-09-10 767
139828 Homework 김*숙 완료 2024-09-10 800
139827 My responsibility 정*영 완료 2024-09-10 2
139826 Homework 김*서 완료 2024-09-10 1
139825 What chores are your responsibility? 이*희 완료 2024-09-10 3
139824 What do you think of books being made into movies? 최*영 완료 2024-09-10 1
139823 Homework 류*우 완료 2024-09-10 940
139822 The best festival in Korea 김*민 완료 2024-09-10 759
139821 Is it always good to participate in contest or competitions? 박*현 완료 2024-09-10 763
139820 What do you like the most about your family? 정*영 완료 2024-09-10 706
139819 Feeling sad 이*규 완료 2024-09-10 1051
139818 homework 김*우 완료 2024-09-10 2
139817 Homework : What is the most valuable item you\'ve ever spent... 이*범 완료 2024-09-10 679
139816 A recent activity that I enjoyed 노*철 완료 2024-09-10 952
139815 Do you want to travel to outer space? Why, or why not? 이*임 완료 2024-09-10 813

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