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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Can you name three jobs you can be good at?

작성자: 김*린
2024-08-26 1153

회원님의 영작문

First I think i can be good at personal assistant because I like to support someone and I've done a lot. I did in the club, such as accounting, making promotional posts and schedule management.

Second I can be good at social worker. I've been doing volunteer work for almost two years, and I feel very rewarded for helping people. Especially I am interested in welfare system and people's mind too.

Third I can be good at quality control. Because of majoring in chemistry, I did a lot of experiments. Quality control is not about making new things like research and development, but about repeating experiments. I think repeated experiments would fit better than making something new.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hey there, Lin! Your diverse experiences and skills seem well-suited for these roles. It’s clear that you’ve thought carefully about how your background aligns with your career interests. Keep building on these strengths, and you'll be well-prepared for the future!
~T. Jenna

First I think i can be good at personal assistant because I like to support someone and I've done a lot. 
>>First, I think I can be good at being a personal assistant because I like/enjoy supporting others and have had a lot of experience doing so.
I did in the club, such as accounting, making promotional posts and schedule management.
>>I gained experience in the club with tasks such as accounting, creating promotional posts, and managing schedules.
Second I can be good at social worker. 
>> Second, I can be a good social worker.
OR
>> Secondly, I believe I could be effective as a social worker.
I've been doing volunteer work for almost two years, and I feel very rewarded for helping people. 
>>I’ve been doing volunteer work for almost two years, and I feel very rewarded by helping people.
OR
>>I have been engaged in volunteer work for nearly two years, and I derive substantial fulfillment from assisting individuals.
Especially I am interested in welfare system and people's mind too.
>>Especially, I am interested in welfare system and people's mind too.
OR
>>I am particularly passionate about both the welfare system and understanding people's mindsets.
Third I can be good at quality control. 
>>Third, I can be good at quality control. 
OR
>>Thirdly, I believe I would excel in quality control.
Because of majoring in chemistry, I did a lot of experiments.
>>Because I majored in chemistry, I did / conducted many experiments.
 Quality control is not about making new things like research and development, but about repeating experiments. 
Correct, or
>>Quality control is not about creating new innovations, as in research and development, but rather about repeating and verifying experiments.
I think repeated experiments would fit better than making something new.
>>I believe that repeated experiments are a better fit than creating something new.
OR
>>I believe that conducting repeated experiments is more suited to quality control than developing new innovations.
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첨삭이 가능하며,

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03
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04

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