¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What\'s your thought on your school election? Do you think class presidents should be allowed to run

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Çõ
2024-08-25 132

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think my school election is equally because every students have a suffrage.
And I think class presidents should be allowed to run for the second or third time is bad,
because one people run for class leaders election several times is unfair.
I think many students experience as leaders is good.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë


Here's your edited essay, Jimmy. I appreciate your sending it. Please go over the revisions given below. Good evening there!  


Cheers,
Jean~~




                              

                     What's your thought on your school election? Do you think class presidents should be allowed to run for the second or third time? Explain your answer.



I think my school election is equally because every students have a suffrage.
>> I think my school election is fair because every student has suffrage.

And I think class presidents should be allowed to run for the second or third time is bad,
because one people run for class leaders election several times is unfair.
>> And I think it's not good to allow class presidents to run for the second or third time because it's unfair for one person to be a class leader several times. 

I think many students experience as leaders is good.
>> I think it's good for many students to experience being leaders. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138926 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-02 0
138925 what do you enjoy the most about being a housewife? ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-02 205
138924 Are home-cooked meals the best? What¡¯s the best thing to do... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-08-02 159
138923 July 31th homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-02 168
138922 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-02 123
138921 (2) investment in the art ¾î*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-02 114
138920 (1) investment in the arts, such as music and theatre ¾î*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-02 2
138919 The food ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-02 143
138918 Speaking what is in mind ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-02 5
138917 What is your dream company to work for? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-08-02 134
138916 homework ¹®*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-02 4
138915 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-02 3
138914 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-02 3
138913 What challenges do you face when planning a family gathering,... Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-08-02 154
138912 Order food in English ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-02 139
138911 What are some popular American food trends or dishes that... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-02 118
138910 How well do you work with people? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-02 190
138909 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-01 3
138908 Do you think time moves slowly or quickly? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-01 2
138907 8/1 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-01 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04