¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Have you watched any sports live at a sports ground or stadium? How was the experience? Was it bette

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Áø
2024-08-25 819

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

II've been to the field, but I haven't been to the groud. I think Playing in the playground was more fun than TV.
I go to ground because I was able can see soccer players.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë



Here's your corrected essay for you, Yale. Many thanks for sending it. Please take a look at the few revisions and alternative expressions provided. Good evening! 


Cheers,
Jean~~


                   

                         Have you watched any sports live at a sports ground or stadium? How was the experience? Was it better than watching on TV? If not, would you want to go and watch there? Why?



I've been to the field, but I haven't been to the ground. 
>> OR: I've watched a game at a sports field, but not at a stadium. 

I think Playing in the playground was more fun than TV.
>> I think watching at a sports stadium was more fun than on TV.

I go to ground because I was able can see soccer players.
>> It's more fun because I can see the soccer players in person. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
140289 Do you prefer physical games or games that are purely mental? ¿À*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-10-07 585
140288 If you were a fruit, what would you be and why? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-07 679
140287 In your opinion, what does \"every end is a new beginning\" mean? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-07 708
140286 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-07 501
140285 07oct2024- homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-10-07 661
140284 How did you stay in touch with friends and family before using... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-07 695
140283 Why do people like to watch shows or read books about fantasy... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-07 692
140282 What activities do you like doing in the summer? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-07 4
140281 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-10-07 3
140280 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-10-07 545
140279 2,october ÀÓ*½Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-10-07 654
140278 4, october ÀÓ*½Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-10-07 604
140277 7,October ÀÓ*½Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-10-07 642
140276 What time of year has the best weather where you live? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-07 2
140275 forget ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-07 1
140274 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-10-07 720
140273 practice ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-10-07 1
140272 If you could live in any other country for a year, where would... ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-10-07 781
140271 Where are you from, and what do you love most about it? ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-10-07 5
140270 What was the highlight of your weekend? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-10-07 538

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04