¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Have you watched any sports live at a sports ground or stadium? How was the experience? Was it bette

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Â÷*Áø
2024-08-25 524

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

II've been to the field, but I haven't been to the groud. I think Playing in the playground was more fun than TV.
I go to ground because I was able can see soccer players.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë



Here's your corrected essay for you, Yale. Many thanks for sending it. Please take a look at the few revisions and alternative expressions provided. Good evening! 


Cheers,
Jean~~


                   

                         Have you watched any sports live at a sports ground or stadium? How was the experience? Was it better than watching on TV? If not, would you want to go and watch there? Why?



I've been to the field, but I haven't been to the ground. 
>> OR: I've watched a game at a sports field, but not at a stadium. 

I think Playing in the playground was more fun than TV.
>> I think watching at a sports stadium was more fun than on TV.

I go to ground because I was able can see soccer players.
>> It's more fun because I can see the soccer players in person. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136746 What preparation in general do you need to have before... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-26 696
136745 24.Apr.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-26 0
136744 What part of the concert will bring you disappointed? ±è*¿í ¿Ï·á 2024-04-26 682
136743 Page.64 ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-26 2
136742 What would you like a fortune teller find out about your future? ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-26 640
136741 Basic ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-26 604
136740 homework 04.25 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-04-25 445
136739 Homework ¹Ú*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-04-25 507
136738 For you, who is Korea\'s best president? Why? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-25 550
136737 2024.04.25 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-04-25 1
136736 What do you normally do on weekdays? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-25 653
136735 What occasion do you enjoy celebrating? ÃÖ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2024-04-25 523
136734 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-25 1
136733 Communicating in English ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-25 816
136732 rural ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-25 1
136731 What is the best form of advertising? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-25 1
136730 HW ³ª*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-25 860
136729 Tell me about the most difficult thing that happened to you... ±è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-04-25 1
136728 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-25 681
136727 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-25 750

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04