¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I\'m addicted to my smartphone!

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2024-08-23 200

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Like this title, I'm addicted to my smartphone.
While I stay at home on weekend, I just spend a time choosing Youtube videos that I want to watch more than 1 hours.
It would have been more efficient to watch a drama at that time.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Min!

If there is a weekly report of your total screen time, you can really see how much time you devote in intentionally and unintentionally use or view your phone. I guess, with all the Apps, it is not difficult to find out how many hours we use our smartphone. Thus, we can either do something about it or add more time using it.

Anyway, we have the power to choose the things we want to do with our smartphone.

You did well on this homework answer.

See you on your next composition!

-T. Donna~

Like this title, I'm addicted to my smartphone.
>> Correct!

While I stay at home on weekend, I just spend a time choosing Youtube videos that I want to watch more than 1 hours.
>> While I stay at home on weekend, I just spend time choosing YouTube videos that I want to watch for more than 1 hour.

It would have been more efficient to watch a drama at that time.
>> It would have been more efficient to watch a drama (at the/ that) time.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138138 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 2
138137 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 0
138136 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 0
138135 What do you think is the most beautiful song in the world? Why? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 280
138134 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 0
138133 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 2
138132 2024.06.26 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 206
138131 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 3
138130 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 1
138129 Q) What do you think is the hardest thing about being a father? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 1
138128 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 228
138127 insurance agent ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 1
138126 HOMEWORK ÁÖ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 221
138125 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 197
138124 When is it important and helpful to tell the truth? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 234
138123 How does the development of high-performance fabrics and... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 285
138122 What historical sites did you visit and what did you learn? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 242
138121 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 210
138120 25.Jun.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 0
138119 After being through challenges ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-27 296

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04