¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I\'m addicted to my smartphone!

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2024-08-23 562

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Like this title, I'm addicted to my smartphone.
While I stay at home on weekend, I just spend a time choosing Youtube videos that I want to watch more than 1 hours.
It would have been more efficient to watch a drama at that time.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Min!

If there is a weekly report of your total screen time, you can really see how much time you devote in intentionally and unintentionally use or view your phone. I guess, with all the Apps, it is not difficult to find out how many hours we use our smartphone. Thus, we can either do something about it or add more time using it.

Anyway, we have the power to choose the things we want to do with our smartphone.

You did well on this homework answer.

See you on your next composition!

-T. Donna~

Like this title, I'm addicted to my smartphone.
>> Correct!

While I stay at home on weekend, I just spend a time choosing Youtube videos that I want to watch more than 1 hours.
>> While I stay at home on weekend, I just spend time choosing YouTube videos that I want to watch for more than 1 hour.

It would have been more efficient to watch a drama at that time.
>> It would have been more efficient to watch a drama (at the/ that) time.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132004 what do you enjoy doing on family gatherings? ½Å*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 708
132003 Where do you usually meet new people? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 589
132002 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 2132
132001 Survey ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-30 1
132000 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-29 1
131999 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-29 2
131998 HOMRWORK -231026 ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-29 1
131997 The best place to visit in vacation, °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-10-29 2
131996 Is obesity a disease? Why or why not? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-29 2
131995 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-29 2
131994 What to do when you get off on the wrong foot? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-29 1
131993 Do you agree that stronger punishment can help reduce crimes? In... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-28 1
131992 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-28 921
131991 Do you think dreams can be explained scientifically? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-10-28 596
131990 A Kenyan proverb says: \"Having a good discussion is like having... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-28 2
131989 home work ±è*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-10-28 895
131988 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-28 2
131987 How do you want to spend your free time? ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-10-28 1009
131986 What is the most difficult part of studying English? ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-10-28 808
131985 How do you deal with days when you don\'t feel like working out? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-10-27 1278

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04