¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I\'m addicted to my smartphone!

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2024-08-23 1356

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Like this title, I'm addicted to my smartphone.
While I stay at home on weekend, I just spend a time choosing Youtube videos that I want to watch more than 1 hours.
It would have been more efficient to watch a drama at that time.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Min!

If there is a weekly report of your total screen time, you can really see how much time you devote in intentionally and unintentionally use or view your phone. I guess, with all the Apps, it is not difficult to find out how many hours we use our smartphone. Thus, we can either do something about it or add more time using it.

Anyway, we have the power to choose the things we want to do with our smartphone.

You did well on this homework answer.

See you on your next composition!

-T. Donna~

Like this title, I'm addicted to my smartphone.
>> Correct!

While I stay at home on weekend, I just spend a time choosing Youtube videos that I want to watch more than 1 hours.
>> While I stay at home on weekend, I just spend time choosing YouTube videos that I want to watch for more than 1 hour.

It would have been more efficient to watch a drama at that time.
>> It would have been more efficient to watch a drama (at the/ that) time.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138110 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 0
138109 Aspect of fate ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 1046
138108 2024.06.26 ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 1
138107 Do you think buffet restaurants are worth their price? Why or... ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 1579
138106 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 1167
138105 What kind of roommate do you want to have ? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 0
138104 eavesdrop ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 0
138103 Are you good at self-motivation? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 0
138102 What is the importance of finding your passion? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 1945
138101 Q) How does societal and cultural context influence perceptions... ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 1
138100 June 24th homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 1668
138099 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 1
138098 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 1548
138097 HOMEWORK FOR 06.25.2024 WRITING TASK: What do you do to save... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 2
138096 Do you like to go to the supermarket? How often do you go? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 1444
138095 hw ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 1
138094 What do I spend my money on? ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 4
138093 What is the importance of finding your passion? ¿À*¼Ø ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 1
138092 How can you handle peer pressure while staying true to yourself... ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 1126
138091 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 1309

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04