¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*¿ì
2024-08-16 524

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q: What are the sacrifices that people with ambitions should make?
A: I think it's their health and their time.
Since they need to work more than others, they can't have enough rest, so their mental and physical health would go worse.
Also, they need to grind a lot of time to achieve their goals,

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Paul!

Thank you for doing your homework.

~T. Divina^^

Here are some corrections:

1. I think it's their health and their time.
>>CORRECT!

2. Since they need to work more than others, they can't have enough rest, so their mental and physical health would go worse.
>>Since they need to work more than the others, they couldn't have enough rest, so their mental and physical health could go worse.

3. Also, they need to grind a lot of time to achieve their goals.
>>Also, they need to grind for a lot of time to achieve their goals.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137980 Make sentences using the words below: Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-06-20 554
137979 What type of information should you put on social networking... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-20 1461
137978 What do you want to do when the weather is too hot. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-20 1127
137977 Crime ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-20 676
137976 What is your motto? Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-20 704
137975 What do you think is the most popular toy in the world? Explain. ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-20 3
137974 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-20 631
137973 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-20 1
137972 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-20 1
137971 6/19 home work Àå*ÈÞ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-20 3
137970 Q) How did you first find out about social media? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-20 1
137969 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-20 903
137968 Body language ¿ì*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-06-20 1
137967 6/20(Thu.) homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-20 566
137966 The most important thing my parents taught us ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-20 601
137965 Uniforms may have a detrimental effect on students¡¯ self-image ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-06-20 647
137964 Traffic rules ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-20 1578
137963 Do you enjoy meeting new people? Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-20 590
137962 How do you reject something in a polite way? Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-06-20 492
137961 Why do you think parasailing is exciting? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-20 656

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04