¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*¿ì
2024-08-16 486

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Q: What are the sacrifices that people with ambitions should make?
A: I think it's their health and their time.
Since they need to work more than others, they can't have enough rest, so their mental and physical health would go worse.
Also, they need to grind a lot of time to achieve their goals,

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Paul!

Thank you for doing your homework.

~T. Divina^^

Here are some corrections:

1. I think it's their health and their time.
>>CORRECT!

2. Since they need to work more than others, they can't have enough rest, so their mental and physical health would go worse.
>>Since they need to work more than the others, they couldn't have enough rest, so their mental and physical health could go worse.

3. Also, they need to grind a lot of time to achieve their goals.
>>Also, they need to grind for a lot of time to achieve their goals.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138592 Tell me about your favorite movie or TV show. ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 448
138591 The best age to settle down ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 438
138590 Do you agree or disagree with Wendy\'s opinion? Explain your... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 2
138589 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 502
138588 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 4
138587 tourist spot ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 1
138586 how much ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 1
138585 Would you prefer language lessons one-to-one or do you like... ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 462
138584 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 701
138583 Why do some people collect things? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 7
138582 H.W À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 3
138581 Homwork ½Å*Á¾ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 861
138580 How accessible is the subway for people with disabilities in... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 831
138579 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-18 507
138578 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-17 565
138577 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-17 1
138576 What books have you recommended for other people? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-07-17 1
138575 2024.0717 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-07-17 564
138574 Homework ½Å*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-17 526
138573 Weekend plan [lesson 2] ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-17 504

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04