무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Paris Olympic: Environmental Friendly or Wealthy Friendly

작성자: 문*현
2024-08-14 265

회원님의 영작문

The most important slogan of Paris 2024 Olympic is to make the most sustainable Olympic ever. The main goal is to halve the carbon footprint compared to the average of previous summer games. However, there has been large controversies related to this objective, especially for air conditioning. The cooling system is the biggest contributor to the global warming. Therefore, Paris Olympic Committee decided to design buildings to withstand heat rather than the cooling system. This measure is soon turned out to be ineffective to counterattack ferocious heatwaves of Paris summer. Many countries have decided to either elect portable air conditioning units or look for different residences to host their athletes. This chaos eventually led inequality between and within countries. For example, Korea swimming association only allowed few male athletes with medal expectation to stay in hotel while other swimming athletes had to stay in Olympic Residence.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thank you for this information Aciel. It's kind of disappointing to hear issues like this happened. Regardless, congratulations to Korea for doing well in this Summer Olympics.

The most important slogan of Paris 2024 Olympic is to make the most sustainable Olympic ever. 
>>> correct
 >>> OR: The most significant slogan of Paris Summer Olympics 2024 is to make the most sustainable Olympics ever. 
The main goal is to halve the carbon footprint compared to the average of previous summer games. 
>>>  correct  
However, there has been large controversies related to this objective, especially for air conditioning. 
>>>  correct  
The cooling system is the biggest contributor to the global warming. 
>>>   correct 
Therefore, Paris Olympic Committee decided to design buildings to withstand heat rather than the cooling system. 
>>>   correct
>>> OR:  Therefore, Paris Olympic Committee decided to design buildings to withstand heat rather than installing a cooling system. 
This measure is soon turned out to be ineffective to counterattack ferocious heatwaves of Paris summer. 
>>>   This measure is soon turned out to be ineffective to counterattack the ferocious heatwaves of Paris summer. 
Many countries have decided to either elect portable air conditioning units or look for different residences to host their athletes. 
>>>   OR: Many countries have decided to either install portable air conditioning units or look for different residences to host their athletes. 
This chaos eventually led inequality between and within countries. 
>>>  This chaos eventually led to inequality between and within countries.  
For example, Korea swimming association only allowed few male athletes with medal expectation to stay in hotel while other swimming athletes had to stay in Olympic Residence.
>>> For example, Korean swimming association only allowed few male athletes who are highly likely to get a medal to stay in hotel while other swimming athletes had to stay in Olympic Residence.
>>> OR:  For example, Korean swimming association only allowed few male athletes who have potentials to get a medal to stay in hotel while other swimming athletes had to stay in Olympic Residence.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
137652 Writing Task: What opinion would you present at a meeting about... 김*환 완료 2024-06-06 229
137651 HOMEWORK 정*환 완료 2024-06-06 213
137650 How does the perspective that obesity is the result of eating... 안*윤 완료 2024-06-06 156
137649 What do you think your midlife crisis will be like? 이*윤 완료 2024-06-06 165
137648 homework 이*숙 완료 2024-06-05 236
137647 Have you ever gotten lost while traveling? If so, tell me about... 김*규 완료 2024-06-05 0
137646 Homework 장*혁 완료 2024-06-05 105
137645 2024.06.05 숙제 양*율 완료 2024-06-05 0
137644 What do you usually do in the shopping mall? 최*성 완료 2024-06-05 230
137643 Pronouncing English words with so many vowel sounds 이*규 완료 2024-06-05 223
137642 My life in my workplace 한*자 완료 2024-06-05 15
137641 Homework 김*우 완료 2024-06-05 2
137640 Do you think fancy restaurants serve more delicious food than... 김*기 완료 2024-06-05 297
137639 Homework 김*서 완료 2024-06-05 0
137638 If you could have a conversation with any famous living person,... 박*은 완료 2024-06-05 215
137637 What do you like to do with your free time? Do you prefer to... 황*은 완료 2024-06-05 272
137636 homework 김*별 완료 2024-06-05 2
137635 Some people think it’s better to choose friends who always have... 황*하 완료 2024-06-05 214
137634 Homework 류*우 완료 2024-06-05 226
137633 Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things... 황*하 완료 2024-06-05 405

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]