¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is the best part of your childhood?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¸°
2024-08-14 945

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think the best part of my childhood is that I don't have to worry about a job and money. Nowadays I'm a bit worry about those things and quit stressful to me. I have to do my own job and earn money to do something that I want to enjoy, learn, play, ect. However when I was young, I didn't worry that much and I had many dreams. For example, I want to be a artist, designer, teacher, scientist and it changed a lot. Now, I have something for fun like hobbies but I don't know what I should do. So I miss my childhood actually.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Lin!

Thank you for doing your homework. I actually agree with you.
I hope you'd be able to find the thing that you really want to do!

~T. Divina^^

Here are some corrections:

1. I think the best part of my childhood is that I don't have to worry about a job and money. 
>>CORRECT!

2. Nowadays I'm a bit worry about those things and quit stressful to me. 
>>Nowadays I'm a bit worried about those things and it's stressful for me. 

3. I have to do my own job and earn money to do something that I want to enjoy, learn, play, ect. 
>>I have to do my own job and earn money in order to do something that I want to enjoy, learn, play, etc. 

4. However when I was young, I didn't worry that much and I had many dreams.
>>However, when I was young, I didn't worry about it that much, and I had many dreams.

5. For example, I want to be a artist, designer, teacher, scientist and it changed a lot. 
>>For example, I wanted to be an artist, a designer, a teacher, or a scientist but it changed a lot. 

6. Now, I have something for fun like hobbies but I don't know what I should do. 
>>CORRECT!

7. So I miss my childhood actually.
>>So, I actually miss my childhood.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139603 Have you ever been to a fancy dress / costume party? What was it... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-08-30 1065
139602 2024.08.30 ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-08-30 737
139601 Solve the communication difficulty over the phone. ·ù*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-30 1212
139600 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-30 641
139599 8/30(Fri) homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-30 709
139598 Popularity ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-30 812
139597 What was your memorable birthday? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-08-30 712
139596 8/29(Thu) homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-30 765
139595 Do you think foreign language study should start as early as... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-30 1
139594 second homework ÃÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-30 694
139593 first homework ÃÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-30 772
139592 song represents me ±è*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-30 1009
139591 what are the most challenging part of cleaning for you ? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-30 802
139590 What do you think of athletes who join the entertainment... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-30 3
139589 When should you stop being honest? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-30 1
139588 Are actors involved in sports more rich than ordinary actors? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-08-30 2
139587 Q) Are you looking forward to your retirement? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-30 683
139586 Should all medicine be free? ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-30 780
139585 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-30 668
139584 Homework : How do people in your country usually greet each... ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-08-30 876

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04