¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The positive side on \" Is drinking milk healthy for humans? \"

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Õ*Èñ
2024-08-13 156

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I'm Hana, and I'd like to present my opinion on the topic, "Is drinking milk healthy for humans?" Do you like milk? Actually, milk is known for health and tasty drink to many people. However, there are many heated debates about drinking milk. I think drinking milk is healthy for humans.
First, milk is good for growth of human's height. Milk contains lots of calcium and calcium is also good nutrients for growth of bones. According to the , milk contains nearly all the basic nutrients that a growing child needs. Calcium is one of them.
Second, milk is good for relieving depression. Do you know milk contains not only basic nutrients but also vitamin D? According to public site of Korean hospital, Vitamin D helps relieving depression. If you drink milk, you can have some effect that relieve depression.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Hana! Thank you for the great opinion. As you have mentioned, as long as it is done in moderation, milk can be really healthy. The benefits outweigh the risks. Let us talk more again soon. See you!
--Teacher Anji


I'm Hana, and I'd like to present my opinion on the topic, "Is drinking milk healthy for humans?" 
I'm Hana, and I'd like to present my opinion on the topic, "Is drinking milk healthy for humans?"
Do you like milk?
CORRECT
Actually, milk is known for health and tasty drink to many people. 
Actually, milk is known as a healthy and tasty drink to many people.
However, there are many heated debates about drinking milk.
However, there are many heated debates about drinking milk.
 I think drinking milk is healthy for humans.
I believe drinking milk is healthy for humans.
First, milk is good for growth of human's height. 
First, milk is good for the growth of a person's height.
Milk contains lots of calcium and calcium is also good nutrients for growth of bones. 
Milk contains a lot of calcium, which is also an important nutrient for bone growth.
According to the , milk contains nearly all the basic nutrients that a growing child needs. Calcium is one of them.
According to research, milk contains nearly all the basic nutrients that a growing child needs, and calcium is one of them.
Second, milk is good for relieving depression.
Second, milk is good for relieving depression.
Do you know milk contains not only basic nutrients but also vitamin D?
Did you know that milk contains not only basic nutrients but also vitamin D?
According to public site of Korean hospital, Vitamin D helps relieving depression.
According to a public site of a Korean hospital, vitamin D helps relieve depression.
If you drink milk, you can have some effect that relieve depression.
If you drink milk, you may experience some relief from depression.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139006 Jeju ÃÖ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-06 194
139005 Things that I would never do to my friend. ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-06 136
139004 What do Korean students usually do during their summer school... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-06 142
139003 8/7 writing task ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-06 5
139002 Describe your kindergarten graduation what did you wear and how... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-06 161
139001 What do you think is the most fun thing to do in the world?... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-08-06 134
139000 What\'s the most fun water activity for you? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-06 118
138999 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-06 0
138998 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-06 0
138997 [HW] What role do your interests play in your social... °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-08-06 145
138996 Is obesity a disease? ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-06 136
138995 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-06 137
138994 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-06 4
138993 Would you like to be a model? What do you think a model¡¯s life... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-08-06 116
138992 Is anger ever a bad thing? If so, when? Why? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-06 3
138991 Aside from financial reasons, why do we need to have a job? Àå*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-06 141
138990 Writing task: Are tattoos common and acceptable in Korea? Why or... ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-08-06 150
138989 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-08-06 131
138988 Publishing names ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-08-06 133
138987 Cutting down on caffeine. ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-08-06 6

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04