¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The positive side on \" Is drinking milk healthy for humans? \"

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Õ*Èñ
2024-08-13 370

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I'm Hana, and I'd like to present my opinion on the topic, "Is drinking milk healthy for humans?" Do you like milk? Actually, milk is known for health and tasty drink to many people. However, there are many heated debates about drinking milk. I think drinking milk is healthy for humans.
First, milk is good for growth of human's height. Milk contains lots of calcium and calcium is also good nutrients for growth of bones. According to the , milk contains nearly all the basic nutrients that a growing child needs. Calcium is one of them.
Second, milk is good for relieving depression. Do you know milk contains not only basic nutrients but also vitamin D? According to public site of Korean hospital, Vitamin D helps relieving depression. If you drink milk, you can have some effect that relieve depression.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Hana! Thank you for the great opinion. As you have mentioned, as long as it is done in moderation, milk can be really healthy. The benefits outweigh the risks. Let us talk more again soon. See you!
--Teacher Anji


I'm Hana, and I'd like to present my opinion on the topic, "Is drinking milk healthy for humans?" 
I'm Hana, and I'd like to present my opinion on the topic, "Is drinking milk healthy for humans?"
Do you like milk?
CORRECT
Actually, milk is known for health and tasty drink to many people. 
Actually, milk is known as a healthy and tasty drink to many people.
However, there are many heated debates about drinking milk.
However, there are many heated debates about drinking milk.
 I think drinking milk is healthy for humans.
I believe drinking milk is healthy for humans.
First, milk is good for growth of human's height. 
First, milk is good for the growth of a person's height.
Milk contains lots of calcium and calcium is also good nutrients for growth of bones. 
Milk contains a lot of calcium, which is also an important nutrient for bone growth.
According to the , milk contains nearly all the basic nutrients that a growing child needs. Calcium is one of them.
According to research, milk contains nearly all the basic nutrients that a growing child needs, and calcium is one of them.
Second, milk is good for relieving depression.
Second, milk is good for relieving depression.
Do you know milk contains not only basic nutrients but also vitamin D?
Did you know that milk contains not only basic nutrients but also vitamin D?
According to public site of Korean hospital, Vitamin D helps relieving depression.
According to a public site of a Korean hospital, vitamin D helps relieve depression.
If you drink milk, you can have some effect that relieve depression.
If you drink milk, you may experience some relief from depression.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136306 Inspired ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 1
136305 Some people say breakfast is the most important meal of the day.... À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 1
136304 What is one valuable lesson you have learned from your mother? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 224
136303 What does a holiday mean to you? ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 139
136302 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 260
136301 HOMEWORK FOR 04.11.2024 WRITING TASK: What would you do if the... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 6
136300 HW ³ª*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 268
136299 homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 339
136298 HOMEWORK FOR 04.10.2024 WRITING TASK: Have you ever joined a... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 4
136297 HOMEWORK FOR 04.09.2024 WRITING TASK: What is a famous fantasy... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 6
136296 Do you prefer going out on your own or with your friends? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 1
136295 How are hobbies now different from hobbies in the past? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 0
136294 Do you enjoy going to different places just to eat? ±è*¿í ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 269
136293 keeping pets for children Á¤*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 273
136292 What was your worst experience of rejection and best experience... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 1
136291 homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-11 253
136290 homework À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-04-10 201
136289 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-10 266
136288 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-10 211
136287 I want to know these sentences are grammatically correct! °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-10 180

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04