¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The positive side on \" Is drinking milk healthy for humans? \"

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼Õ*Èñ
2024-08-13 365

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I'm Hana, and I'd like to present my opinion on the topic, "Is drinking milk healthy for humans?" Do you like milk? Actually, milk is known for health and tasty drink to many people. However, there are many heated debates about drinking milk. I think drinking milk is healthy for humans.
First, milk is good for growth of human's height. Milk contains lots of calcium and calcium is also good nutrients for growth of bones. According to the , milk contains nearly all the basic nutrients that a growing child needs. Calcium is one of them.
Second, milk is good for relieving depression. Do you know milk contains not only basic nutrients but also vitamin D? According to public site of Korean hospital, Vitamin D helps relieving depression. If you drink milk, you can have some effect that relieve depression.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Hana! Thank you for the great opinion. As you have mentioned, as long as it is done in moderation, milk can be really healthy. The benefits outweigh the risks. Let us talk more again soon. See you!
--Teacher Anji


I'm Hana, and I'd like to present my opinion on the topic, "Is drinking milk healthy for humans?" 
I'm Hana, and I'd like to present my opinion on the topic, "Is drinking milk healthy for humans?"
Do you like milk?
CORRECT
Actually, milk is known for health and tasty drink to many people. 
Actually, milk is known as a healthy and tasty drink to many people.
However, there are many heated debates about drinking milk.
However, there are many heated debates about drinking milk.
 I think drinking milk is healthy for humans.
I believe drinking milk is healthy for humans.
First, milk is good for growth of human's height. 
First, milk is good for the growth of a person's height.
Milk contains lots of calcium and calcium is also good nutrients for growth of bones. 
Milk contains a lot of calcium, which is also an important nutrient for bone growth.
According to the , milk contains nearly all the basic nutrients that a growing child needs. Calcium is one of them.
According to research, milk contains nearly all the basic nutrients that a growing child needs, and calcium is one of them.
Second, milk is good for relieving depression.
Second, milk is good for relieving depression.
Do you know milk contains not only basic nutrients but also vitamin D?
Did you know that milk contains not only basic nutrients but also vitamin D?
According to public site of Korean hospital, Vitamin D helps relieving depression.
According to a public site of a Korean hospital, vitamin D helps relieve depression.
If you drink milk, you can have some effect that relieve depression.
If you drink milk, you may experience some relief from depression.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136386 Do you think beauty pageants should focus more on inner beauty... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-15 128
136385 Homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-15 142
136384 What is the essence of flower festivals in your country? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-15 339
136383 Do you have any favorite springtime activities from your... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-15 177
136382 2024.04.12 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-04-15 148
136381 How have cars improved our lives or have caused more problems... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-15 136
136380 What do you think about putting in effort but no progress? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-15 167
136379 Something I would risk my life ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-15 252
136378 12.Apr.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-15 1
136377 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-15 2
136376 What do you like about living in your neighborhood? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-14 3
136375 How are your friendships different now than they were when you... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-14 194
136374 What do you borrow from your friends? ¸Í*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-14 204
136373 What do say when you want to know if a person needs help? Write... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-14 228
136372 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-14 2
136371 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-14 238
136370 HOMEWORK FOR 04.12.2024 WRITING TASK: Which chore do you like... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-14 5
136369 What are your thoughts on Korean fashion? Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-14 219
136368 Describe a useful website ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-04-14 1
136367 How do you take care of your teeth? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-13 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04